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Single Parents Dating more than Singles without Children?

Single Parents Dating more than Singles without Children?

According to dating site Match.com, “21% of single parents are currently dating someone versus 16% of singles without kids; 35% of single parents have been on a first date in the past year versus 27% of singles without kids.” Now, these statistics could have been manipulated in a million ways (what does “single” mean exactly, how precisely do you define “dating,” etc.), but the good news is, this means that single parents aren’t moping around sad, lonely and bored. We’re getting out, and as Jezebel’s Anna North put it, “getting it on.”

As a single mother myself, I can attest to the getting it on part.  Since I’ve spent the better part of the last two years since my divorce following doing all of the things Match recommends the newly single parent do: compiling a killer wardrobe, maintaining a great hairstyle (one Eat Pray Love author Elizabeth Gilbert described as an “eff you cut“), I seem to have no problem snagging a squire for an evening of romance.  What I can’t get is a date.

Let me rephrase that: it’s not that I think I am unable to get a date or that I think I’m not girlfriend material.  It’s that I haven’t had a man ask to buy me dinner.  That being said, I won’t deny that one of the first thoughts that exploded into my brain and out of my mouth when I knew I was leaving my husband was, “I gave you my 20?s!  I had a kid.  No one is going to want me now.”  It took about a year, but as I devoted more time to To read the entrie article clickmy emotional recovery, health and well-being, I realized I wasn’t “damaged goods,” despite the fact that I felt it and meant it the day that I posted that as my Gchat status circa summer 2009.

To read the entire article click here.

Me-Time and Social Networking for Single Parents

Me-Time and Social Networking for Single Parents

Single parenting can be very lonely. It seems that you are in a unique situation – all of your friends are either married or single without children. This puts a barrier between you and them. This is why many single parents are turning to online social networking. Networking sites are a place where you can meet others who are like you; who share your one-of-a-kind joys and sorrows. At these sites, you can read the latest news for single parents, take personality questionnaires, and get involved in a wide variety of interactive activities.

One popular site is I Heart Single Parents. This site can make you feel better as a single parent in many ways. For example, it is here that we learn Michael Jackson’s older brother is currently stuck in Africa and can’t go back to the U.S. as he has missed $90,000 in child support payments. He is thus prohibited from leaving the continent until he pays up. If you are having trouble collecting payments as a single mother, you will probably feel better knowing that if celebrities can be brought to justice, then so can your ex. You can also share your money issues and asset splitting troubles (now that he is comfortably living in Canada, enjoying a couple of Canadian credit cards while you are stuck repaying your joint debt burden in the USA).

To Read the entire article click here.

Are you a Single Parent Swimming Against the Current?

Are you a Single Parent Swimming Against the Current?

When dealing with your child’s ‘other’ parent, threre is more than one single parent scenario. Some single parents have no contact with the ‘other’ parent and wonder why they don’t want to be a part of their child’s life. While other single parents have disruptive, controlling, abusive ‘other’ parents that they are trying to protect their child from. And all the scenarios in between.

But there is one group of single parents who make life harder than it has to be for everyone involved; especially their children. If your child’s other parent is involved in your child’s life and you two are still bickering, maybe the following article will help you gain some perspective on how little you’re gaining, and how much you are losing, by not putting your past behind you and co-parenting your child.

Parent With The Current

The phrase “single parent” is new for the twenty-first century. Men and women are designed to repopulate and raise their children together, not single-handed. More than offering our X and Y-chromosomes, men and women both bring valuable substance to the table of parenting. Both have their strengths and weaknesses that help develop a child to their full potential. To offer this to our children is priceless.

While this still exists in the twenty-first century, some of us aren’t that lucky. We are called “single parents”. Though unless our husband has died or has totally abandoned the children, we aren’t parenting alone. We just are no longer a two parent, one house family; we are a two-parent two-house family. Most of the arguments in the house are built around “Mom says I can do this” and “Dad says I can do that.” Life is hard for you and confusing to your children. When parenting “single,” we are not alone, but it does seem that we are most of the time because parenting this way is like swimming against a current. It takes all your strength and you can’t do it for long without consequences to both parents and children.

The “current” is the relationship you now have with your ex-spouse. That reflects on your parenting and your relationship with your children, which in turn affects their relationships with others.

We know one house two parents parenting has the best out come for children. We know single parenting does not. A new parenting phrase and way of life has to be created to combine the two.

-One house two parents’ -Two parents working together in the same house to raise children. The two parents stand united.
-Single parenting – Two parents not working together in two houses. Taking every opportunity to negate each other. Two sets of rules for the children because the parents are not united in child rearing.

There is another option.

Single Parent Support Groups

Single Parent Support Groups

Being a single parent can be a strain on you financially as well as emotionally. The demands of being a single parent means that most single moms and dads limit or completely cut out any socializing. But not investing in friendships or relationships can be a bad idea, and can cause you to become isolated and depressed. Finding and getting involved in a single parent support group can really be worth the time and effort because the group can help you cope with single parenting issues. There are a variety of things that a single parent support group can offer you such as:

Activities – Many support groups have different types of activities that single parents can participate in. Group activities are a good way to meet others like yourself who have similar single parent issues and provide support. Enjoying a group activity can also help keep depression at bay and give you something fun to look forward to on a regular basis.

Conversation – Having an opportunity to talk with people who are in similar situations can be a relief. So often single parents feel they are being judged by others who don’t understand what being a single parent entails. You also have an opportunity to listen to and get advice from other single parents who have overcome some of the issues that you may be dealing with currently, and that can be very encouraging.

Learning – Many single parent support groups invite speakers to educate the group on various relevant topics, or provide useful information in other ways. Some of the useful topics covered might be learning how to talk to teens about touchy subjects such as sex, drugs, and alcohol. Or learning how to create a budget that works for the single parent; how to make their income go farther, or how to find ways to supplement their income. Being a single parent can be frustrating and confusing if you try to go it alone, and that’s where single parent support groups can help.

Find new interests – As a single parent you want to show your kids that you’re ‘okay’, and that means keeping some of your life for yourself; and living it! Getting involved in a single parent support group can be a great way to grow and enjoy life as you meet new people and develop interests. The truth is, the kids will appreciate and respect you more if you have some boundaries when it comes to carving out much needed ‘adult time’.

Support network opportunities – The people you will meet in single parent support groups will be more likely to want to be a part of your support network because they’re looking for support also. From something as simple as knowing people who can form a babysitting co-op with you to knowing people who can help you out with various things you’ll need in life.

Make new friends – If nothing else, a single parent support group will give you an opportunity to be around people like you who are going through similar issues. The potential for making new friends will be great. And who knows; maybe when you’re ready for a deeper relationship, it just might be the place you find it.

If doesn’t matter how you became a single parent, we all know that is can be challenging. Joining single parent support groups can really help give you that extra support that you and your family need. If your not sure where to find a single parent support group in your area, check out your local church websites or do a local search on your favorite search engine.

Tips for Single Parents to get Cheaper Car Insurance Rates for Teens

Tips for Single Parents to get Cheaper Car Insurance Rates for Teens

Tips from the Teen Car Insurance Guide

It’s scary enough when your teenager begins to drive – and as a single parent, it can be a bit tricky to determine where the responsibility lies when it comes to insuring them. Whether your child is living with your former spouse or is away at school, you should talk to your insurance company to determine whose policy your teen should go on.

Here are a few questions to be prepared for when talking with your agent:

  1. Who has custody? – If you’re a single parent, some insurance companies mandate that whoever has custody while the teen is attending school is responsible for the policy. Others suggest that the parent who has the teen a majority of the time should cover them under their policy. Depending on which company your insurance is through, your teen may also need to be named on both parents’ policies.
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  3. Do you and your ex-spouse have the same insurance company? – If you’re a single parent and you and your ex both have auto insurance through the same company, your child may be automatically covered under both policies. This is because some insurance policies define “the insured” as someone related to you by blood, marriage, or adoption who is a resident of your household.
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  5. Who has the best driving history? – As a single parent this can also be a deciding factor in whose policy your child should be covered under. If you or your former spouse have a poor driving record, this could increase the cost of your premium significantly. In this case, it may be best to have the other parent add your teen driver to their policy.
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  7. When does your teen’s coverage need to begin? – Make sure you notify the insurance company at least a few weeks before your teen gets his or her license. Even if you’re still deciding which policy they should be covered under, it’s important to have them covered in the interim – not doing so could cost you quite a bit of money if they’re involved in an accident. Not listing them also gives your insurance company the right to cancel your policy for misrepresentation. Make sure their coverage starts a few days before they’re ready to drive.

After you’ve determined whose policy your teen driver should be covered on, plan a time to talk with your former spouse about coverage options, safety issues, and related costs. Although this may be an uncomfortable conversation, there are many important things you should discuss:

  1. Decide between individual vs. existing policy – Most times, adding a child to your existing policy is best, rather than getting them their own. However, if you or your former spouse has a history of accidents or an overall poor driving record, it might be best to get them an individual policy.
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  3. Check back every six months – When your policy comes up for renewal (usually every six months), take a look at other companies to see if you can get a better rate. At this point, your current company may also give you a loyalty discount if you stay with them.
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  5. Switch the insured person – Some companies let you assign drivers to a specific car. To save money, list your teen as the driver of one of your older cars.
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  7. Increase your deductibles – Single parents might think this tip is a bit scary, but it does save you money. When you add a teenage driver to your policy, consider increasing your deductible. This can significantly lower your premium, so you can use your insurance in the unfortunate event of an accident, rather than on small things that you can pay out of pocket.
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  9. Take your college student off the policy – If your teen driver is away at school without a car, consider taking them off your policy. As a single parent you don’t want to be paying for something that is not needed. Make sure, though, that they won’t drive during a break from school – if they are uncovered and in an accident, you could risk losing a lot of money.
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  11. Don’t buy a new car – For most single parents (for most parents in general) this is not an option for you anyway, but if it is you need to know this: Brand-new cars are much more expensive to insure than older models. If you intend to buy a car for your teen to drive, resist the urge to get something brand-new. Instead, purchase a reliable older car and save a significant amount of money when it comes to insurance.
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  13. Don’t report fender benders – Although insurance companies aren’t a fan of this idea, consider paying for fender benders out of pocket, without reporting it. Even a single accident can raise your premiums, so it may be more cost-effective to you to not report it and instead, pay out-of-pocket.
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  15. Choose a safe car – As a single parent, when choosing a car for your teen to drive, consider something safe – this will not only do the obvious, but will also save you money on car insurance. Sporty cars always cost more to insure, as do larger trucks and SUVs; and single parents don’t need the added expense.
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  17. Safety features are good – Along with choosing a conservative car, look at the safety features as well. Cars with airbags, anti-lock brakes, and automatic seat belts can help make a difference in your insurance premium.
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  19. Car registration – Keep the car registered under the single parent’s name that the insurance is under, instead of the teen. This is a commonly missed factor that can affect insurance rates.
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  21. Drop collision or comprehensive coverage on old cars – If your teen plans to drive an older car, consider dropping the collision and comprehensive insurance. The reason is this: Paying a month premium to maintain these may be much more expensive than paying out-of-pocket in the rare event of an accident.

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Single Parent Dad: Paging Mr. Mom

Single Parent Dad: Paging Mr. Mom

I thought this article over at the Huffington Post was very informative. Enjoy.

Being a divorced parent means being a single parent. One of the most
fundamental reasons for the breakdown of a marriage is loss of empathy
for a spouse. It can therefore come as quite a shock to newly single
dads as to just how difficult it can be to raise kids on your own. Not
every guy can slip effortlessly into his new-found responsibilities.
Even worse — we’re scared to ask for help (probably for the same reason
we refuse to ask for directions when we’re driving despite being
hopelessly lost). In no particular order, here are some general tips
around the whole experience that I’ve found useful. As always, when it
comes to being a parent there are no rules except for giving love and
following your instincts as every relationship, every kid, and every
parent are unique.

To read the entire article click here.