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Organization Tips for Single Parents

Organization Tips for Single Parents

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Dad and Son Reading

Let’s face it, life is BUSY!  And you’re a single parent so life is BUSIER!  Carving out some leisure/free/fun time for you and your kids takes some planning and organizational skills, but it’s worth it.

Who doesn’t want more free, fun time with their kids!  Let’s see how we can make more of that happen.

Daily Routines are Your Friends

Establish daily routines for your family so that everyone knows what’s expected of them. Routines won’t solve all of your battles, but there’ll be fewer surprises.  Bedtime routines as well as morning routines really help your single parent household run more efficiently.  Don’t forget homework, chores, and meal time routines.  Get yourself a dry erase board and have your routines in a place where everyone sees them often.  Routines definitely save you time.

A Family Calendar is a Must

Along with your routines board, you need a family calendar where everyone can see it.  Keep track of your special events, special school activities, and appointments, etc.  This cuts down on conflicts and lets you, and the kids keep track of the logistics of who needs to be where at what time.  An up to date family calendar will save you even more time.

Motivate your Kids to do their Chores

You’re a single parent.  You need to get household chores done on a daily basis but there’s no way you can do it alone.  You may disagree, but the fastest way to get the chores done (and with no whining) is to offer an incentive.  It could be money but it doesn’t have to be.  You can make the incentive internet access when their chores are done.  Whatever motivates your child.  Chores are more likely to get done quickly and properly if there is an incentive attached.

Plan Your Meals

Obviously you’re going to take your kids’ preferences into consideration, but it is a huge time and money saver when you plan your meals out weekly.  Planning your weekly meals out saves on trips to the grocery store – you only need to go once.  If you can pre-make meals for the week and freeze them, you save even more time.  An added bonus is family fun time together in the kitchen if your kids like to cook with you.

If you follow these tips you will be able to regain some precious time that you and your kids can use for more enjoyable things, like spending some fun leisure time together.

5 Common Questions Single Parents Ask

5 Common Questions Single Parents Ask

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1. How Do I Adjust to Being a Single Parent?

Being a single parent isn’t easy, especially in the beginning. But instead of giving in and feeling sorry for yourself, take steps to start the adjustment process right away. Get involved in a single parent support group. There you can find support and fun. Reach out to other single parents in your community. Invite them and their kids over for a play date or a picnic in the park. Be kind and take care of yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the better you’ll feel as a single parent.

2. Will I Ever Heal? How Can I Start the Healing Process?

Whether your spouse died or you’ve just gone through a divorce, you will need to go through the grieving process. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance are all a part of that process. For some the process is quicker than others. To help yourself through the grieving process, get involved in a support group. Let yourself cry when you feel like crying. Exercise; pursue a hobby; get yourself around other adults, and accept help from others. Help others. This actually has an amazing healing affect. Finally, seek out the help of a professional counselor/therapist if after 6 months you’re still not moving through the grieving process.

3. How am I Going to Live on My New Budget?

Newly single parents usually have to adjust to a new, smaller budget. This is something that you need to pay attention to right away. You cannot live the way you did when there were two incomes. Create a brutally honest budget for your single parent family and stick to it. Maxing out your credit cards and possibly ruining your credit will only make matters WAY worse for a long time. Look for ways to increase your income. Try to eliminate or restructure any debt that you currently have. Live within your means by cutting out all but necessary expenses. As you adjust to single parent living you can then start adding additional expenses to your budget as your income allows.

Where Can I Find a Single Parent Support Group?

You should be able to find more than on single parent support group in your community. You may even be able to find single parent support groups that cater to specific sub-groups such as single moms, single dads, etc. Many religious organizations off single parent support groups, so look there. Ask for referral from doctors, or other single parents in the community. Google single parent support groups in your area.

5. How do I Start Dating Again?

Whether you want to date just for the adult companionship or you’re looking for something more serious, here are a few ideas on how to meet new potential dates. For sure there are many dating apps out there. If you decide to use a dating app, use caution. People can be very deceptive on dating apps. Instead, join a gym or take a night class at your local community college. You can spend time at bookstores, museums, or any other place where single frequent. A great place to meet new people (potential dates included) is your local church. Offer to volunteer which gives you a built in excuse to talk to everyone.

Dating can boost your ego as a newly single parent but be very cautious. Take it slow, and don’t put yourself out there until you’ve had time to heal from your previous relationship.

Have a Good Single Parent Plan

Have a Good Single Parent Plan

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Becoming a Single Mom or Dad

You may not have started with the plan of being a single mom, but the statistics don’t lie. Becoming a single parent is inevitable for many parents.

Ideally, raising a child involves a full time mother and father, since each bring different strengths and therefore a broader way of attending to the different needs of the child. But when it is no longer possible to keep the nuclear family intact, then it’s better to become a single parent than to sacrifice your emotional and/or physical health; and that of your child’s as well.

If you’re thinking about separating from your child’s other parent, now is the time to start planning for life as a single parent. Making such monumental decisions without a plan can be a disaster. Planning for your future as a single parent helps to ensure that your child will grow up to be an independent and responsible human being despite having only one full time parent.

Where to start

Make a commitment to be an effective single parent. Realize up front that there will be pressures with work and financial responsibilities that will seem overwhelming at the time. However, outside pressure is not an excuse to water down your commitment to raising your child in the healthiest, most loving way possible.

Make your Emotional Needs a High Priority

Experts agree, the best single parents are the ones who make their own emotional needs a high priority. This means maintaining a life that doesn’t completely revolve around your child and being a single mom or dad. Children thrive in an environment where they feel safe, loved, and cared for. If you haven’t taken responsibility and dealt with your own issues, you’ll be stuck in victim mode. To develop a healthy way of relating to the world, your Children need the strength and guidance that only a healthy parent can give them. Since there is a need for you to be strong and healthy for your child, dealing with your own issues first is a must. You don’t necessarily need to go to counseling, but it could definitely help.  Be sure that you have a group of friends or family to provide emotional support so that you don’t lean on your child for support.  Also know that many parents have been right where you are, and they’ve adjusted to their new life just fine.  And in time you will too.

Find your Inner Motivation

It is a must for single parents to find a way to motivate themselves to keep moving forward.  Some days will be tougher than others.  Finding your reason for getting up when you don’t want to; or plowing through a difficult situation will make all the difference.  Many adults become responsible single parents because they have motivated themselves to look for positive things that the situations brought them. Successful, effective single parenting typically follows once the single mom or dad is able to find his or her source of motivation in achieving goals that they’ve set not only for themselves but for the children as well.

Assess your Strengths and Weaknesses

For you to become an effective single parent, you really want to undergo lots of reflection and self-assessment to know what are your strengths and your weaknesses. If you know your strengths as a parent, your child will see that in you and they will believe that you can take care of them even if you are the only parent. It’s also important to address your weaknesses so you know areas in parenting that you should improve on. By know your own weaknesses as a parent, you can turn these into opportunities that will make single parenting more successful for you and for your child.

Choose to be a Single Parent Success

You may not have chosen this journey for yourself and your child, but here you are.  And you can choose to be a great success at being a single parent.  Just set your mind to it and let nothing stop you from being the best single mom or dad. Many single parents have gone down this path before you and succeeded in raising wonderfully adjusted kids.  Set you mind in the right place and let nothing stop you, and you too will be a very successful single parent.

Housing for Single Mothers

Housing for Single Mothers

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Are You a Single Parent Struggling to Find Affordable Housing?

Single parents may struggle to secure adequate housing for various reasons, such as limited income or bad credit. But no matter what the reason, single parents still need safe, affordable housing for their families. How do single mom’s afford housing?  Finding affordable housing as a single parent is not easy; but it’s not impossible. Whether you’re a homeowner in financial crisis, or a single parent looking for low income rental housing, there are programs out there that may be able to help you. So let’s take a look at some of the programs that are available to help secure housing for single mothers and single fathers out there.

Your Affordable Housing Search should Start Here

A good place to start your housing search is your local Housing and Urban Development office. You can find out about HUD programs for financially disadvantaged families, and single moms like yourself. While it can take a while to secure safe, affordable housing through these programs, you still want to get on the list even as you’re looking at other options.

Here is a link to HUD listings by state.



Other Programs

Below are some other programs that HUD offers. These programs may be able to help single moms and dads with their housing problems.

  1. Housing Choice Voucher Program

    This program assists very low-income families, such as single parent families so they can afford safe and adequate housing in the private market. Since housing assistance is provided on behalf of the family, single parents are free to find their own housing, including single-family homes, townhouses and apartments so long that they meet the programs requirements. The Program determines an amount and pays the Landlord directly, and the family pays the difference.

    The Housing Choice Voucher Program is run through local Public Housing Agencies(PHAs). The PHAs receive funds from HUD and the PHA’s administer the voucher program.

    Find Your Local Public Housing Agency.

  2. The Home Program

    Can a single mom with low income buy a house?  The Home Program is designed to create affordable housing for single mothers, single fathers, and low-income households in general. Each year it allocates about 2 billion dollars among the States and local agencies. The program was designed to help those in need through things like loan guarantees, direct loans, grants, rental assistance, security deposit assistance, and credit enhancement. Eligibility for the Home Program varies depending on the type of assistance you need. To find out if you are eligible, you need to contact a participating agency in your area.

Don’t Give up Looking for Safe Affordable Housing

It can be very discouraging, at times, trying to secure affordable housing for your family as a single parent. But remember, there are many different programs out there with many different types of eligibility requirements. If you stay positive and continue searching for assistance, your chances of finding safe affordable housing for your family are greatly increased.

Single Parent Families Today

Single Parent Families Today

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Single Parent Families

Today being the head of a single parent family is more common than the so called traditional family. The traditional family was defined as a mother, father and children. Today we see all sorts of ‘families’ including many single parent families. And even within the category of single parent family we see a range of mothers, fathers and even extended family members raising children as a single parent. Today none of this is unusual.

Single Parent Life

Life in a single parent household today is quite common, but it can be very stressful for the parent and the children. It can be hard not having a partner to share the responsibilities of paying the bills, taking care of the children, and doing the chores. You have all of the parental responsibility in additional to working full time. And it’s no secret that many single parent families have less financial resources than two parent households, which can make single parent family life more stressful.

In addition to all of the above, single parent families can sometimes experience added stressors that two parent families typically don’t experience.

Unique Situations that Cause Stress in Single Parent Families

  • Visitation and custody problems can lead to fractured emotional bonds and expensive legal bills.
  • Potential for conflict with non-custodial parent over different parenting styles.
  • Quality time with children can be hard to come by.
  • Disruptions of extended family relationships can feel alienating.
  • Potential problems when the parent starts to pursue new relationships

Single Parent Family Success

Single parent families can be successful. The best way to succeed at single parenting is to try to get along with your children’s other parent if possible. Also reach out to other single parents. Build up your support team. There are groups that you can join in your communities and churches. Strengthen the bonds with your extended family members as well. Don’t try to do it alone. Accept help and assistance from others. And give back where you can.

Tell us about your single parent success stories.

Why It’s Better to Be a Single Parent

Why It’s Better to Be a Single Parent

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This article comes to us from Dishon & Block

Being a single parent is not an ideal situation. No matter how you spin it, almost everyone agrees that having two parents is better than one. However, being a single parent post-divorce or separation gets a worse rep than it deserves, and there are advantages to raising children alone.

Rather than trying to work with your ex to make parenting compromises, you’ll get to make your own decisions. Kerri Zane, single mother advisor, offers five reasons that being a single parent actually can be better:

1- No negotiations necessary. Parents trying to co-parent will continue to fight and deal with disagreeing views on how to raise their children. All the fighting and disagreeing can make both environments unhealthy for your child. As a single parent you can be the security blanket and the healthy, loving parent that your child needs.

You can read the entire article here.