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Fighting for Child Support When Parents Are Unmarried

Fighting for Child Support When Parents Are Unmarried

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Disclaimer: Laws may vary from state to state. I advise you to do your own research.

Before You Can Request Child Support

Before we talk about support for the child born to unmarried couples, let’s look at child custody first.

Child custody cases for unmarried parents are quite different from those that involve divorced parents. Divorced fathers generally tend to find themselves in family court fighting for their right to retain contact or periodically visit their children after the separation. While divorced mothers generally are in the courtroom to fight for child support from the fathers. This dynamic is changing as more and more fathers get primary custody, and more mothers become the parent who earns the higher income.

For single parents who’ve never been married however, paternty must be established before the single father can fight for the right to have any type of visitation or joint custoday. And paternity must be established before the single mother can take up the issue of child support the court.

After Paternity is Established

A number of important issues arise for both the single mother and single father when child custody is taken up in court. When the parents of a child are not married to each other, sole physical custody of the children is often awarded to the mother. Unless a father establishes paternity though court approved procedures and takes a strong action to be awarded custody of his children, he is usually left with very little chances of gaining access to them.

If the single mother denies the single father access to the children, he has to seek action in a family court to establish paternity and wait for the judge’s final decision. Full custody of the children are usually only be granted to unwed fathers if the mother is found unfit to raise them. For younger children, the chances of an unwed father being awarded custody have always remained slim, and a lot of time and money is involved in these procedures.

Asking a Court to Grant Financial Support

When it comes to financial support for the child from an unwed couple, there is an increasing number of single mothers going to court to obtain some form of support from the single father. In these cases, the mothers have to first establish paternity so she can request financial support for the children under her custody. Without seeking the help of the court, it is often impossible for mothers to get the fathers to pay for their fair share in raising the children. When support is delivered voluntarily, single mothers face the threat of losing this anytime a single father decides to stop these contributions. But with a court decision after paternity is established, garnishments against the salaries or any form of income the father makes can be arranged, and the children are assured of continuing financial support until they are of age.

If you find yourself in this situation the best thing to do is stay focused on what is best for the child. Making sure that everyone’s legal rights are protected before problems arise is the smart thing to do.

Keep Your Kids Safe from Preditors

Keep Your Kids Safe from Preditors

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The Sad Truth

Horrific stories about children being molested are common in the new today.  With the trial of Jerry Sandusky, the alleged abuse of Bishop Eddie Long of Atlanta, and the painful memories of priests abusing young boys in the Catholic Church, single parents need to be more proactive when it comes to protecting our children. It’s unfortunate that as single parents our job is made that much harder because we once looked to ‘respected’ men in the community to mentor our children, particularly boys.

Not Stranger Danger

Most children get the ‘stranger danger’ talk early and often; at home and at school.  But when the potential danger is someone who is familiar and around our children everyday, things get confusing.  Teachers, coaches, pastors, and even family members are people our children should be able to trust, but that’s not always the case.

Single moms should not give anyone too much access to their children even if they are in positions of authority. In The Myth of the Broken Home-Guidebook for Single Parents “Strangers” are obvious, but “Strange Nots” are very familiar to children. They include people who are around our children everyday including family members, teachers, preachers, friends. These are people our children should be able to trust, but as we know, it’s not always the case. Children should be taught to apply some of the same protective techniques with familiar adults as with strangers.



What Can You Do?

Child molesters have very specific predatory skills much like many offenders. Here are some tips to help you lessen the chances of your child from being a victim.

  1. Monitor your child’s interaction with strangers and use every interaction as a teaching moment. Your child needs to know what to do in situations with strangers first. Once they know how to react to ‘Stranger Danger’ you will be able to start teaching them about ‘Not-So Stranger Danger’.
  2. If you are actively dating; never invite the men you meet into your home. This is not just for your children’s safety, but your own as well. Be very causious about jumping into a relationship too fast. If you develop a friendship with a male, spend time with him outside your home. Meet at a restaurant or a local coffee shop.
  3. Know the whereabouts of your children at all times. Know where they are, what they are doing, and who they are with. This is very important. Your children should also know that they need to contact you if there is any change in plans; before the change happens.
  4. Openly communicate with your child about their body and what is private. Let them know that their body is their own; and if someone is making them uncomfortable by touching them they should say so. Even if it’s just a hug. Children need to know that they have the right to say no to someone touching them. They also need to be comfortable enough to tell you, their parent, if it happens.

 

Single parents, are often exhausted and sometimes burdened, but we still must do our best to protect our children as best we can.