Browsed by
Tag: single parent struggles

How to Cope With Single Parent Stress

How to Cope With Single Parent Stress

Comments 0 Comment

Don’t let single-parent stress keep you from meeting challenges head-on. Learn how to take care of yourself and your children when doing it alone.

Whether you’ve been a single parent for several weeks or several years, you are not alone. Roughly 17 million children in the U.S. live in single-parent homes, and research suggests that it can take up to three years for a family to adjust to this new lifestyle.

Raising children on your own is challenging, and at times the stress can seem overwhelming. Here is information you can use to help take care of both your children and yourself.

The challenges

It’s hard enough to cope with the emotions a single parent and the children have about a divorce or the death of a partner. But that’s only one of the issues you face when you suddenly find yourself raising kids alone. Other challenges you’re likely to face include:

  • Getting back into the work force after being a stay-at-home parent
  • Being unable to make ends meet, even with child support and a steady income
  • Having no one to share housework and errands
  • Not having enough time to spend with your children
  • Finding adequate day care or babysitting
  • Not having time to socialize, pursue a new relationship, or just relax

Dealing with finances

An alarming number of single-parent households in the U.S. – one in every three headed by a woman and one in every six headed by a man – live below the poverty level. But you don’t need to be living in poverty to be stressed over money.
For instance, your children may have to give up team sports or other activities because the fees are no longer in the budget. Some parents can’t afford health insurance or medication, so children may not have doctor visits. If individual or family counseling is needed, single parents often lack the money to pay for it. And for some parents, just putting food on the table and clothes on their kids’ backs is hard to do.
If you’re having financial problems, these suggestions may help:

  • Try putting yourself on a budget.
  • If you’re struggling to make ends meet from one month to the next, consider working with a credit counselor. To find one near you, you can contact the National Foundation for Credit Counseling at 800-388-2227.
  • Look for ways to cut back. For instance, ask yourself if you really need all those premium cable TV channels. Look at how you and your kids use cell phones. Can you get a cheaper plan that will still meet your needs?
  • If you can’t make your house payment or rent, think about moving in with a family member until you can get your finances straightened out.

You may also qualify for state or federal assistance for food, health care, day care, counseling, job training, and housing. And there are Federal grants available that help single parents continue their education. Contact your state’s social services department to get information on public assistance in your area.

Child care worries

Finding child care can be a major headache for a single parent. Start by asking friends for references for babysitters. Also, visit day care centers before you make any decisions. Make sure the day care center has an open-door policy that allows parents to visit at any time. And find out what other parents think of the facility.
If your child wakes up with a sore throat or if weather conditions shut down school without warning, will you have a backup plan? Talk to friends and family members to see if anyone you know can help out in a pinch. Also, many corporations, childcare centers, and hospitals offer emergency day care services for children who are mildly sick or whose regular arrangements have fallen through.

Sharing the responsibilities

If you come home from a hard day’s work to find dirty dishes piled in the sink, the garbage can overflowing, and muddy paw prints all over your kitchen floor, you won’t be in the best frame of mind to spend quality time with your kids. Get everyone to help. Assign each child chores and work together for 15 or 30 minutes to get things in order. Then you’ll have time to relax together without clutter and confusion getting in the way.

Keep an eye on your health

Don’t let your other obligations make you neglect your health. Make sure to eat right, get enough rest, and engage in at least 30 minutes of physical activity each day.
Also remember your emotional health. Try to ease the stress in your life by remembering to:

  • Find time for yourself. Even if just for a short time, relax with a good book, work on a hobby, or unwind by listening to your favorite music.
  • Get support. Reach out to family members and friends who can take the kids off your hands for a while, drop off a meal, or do a load of laundry for you.
  • Reach out to other single parents. Find a support group so you can share ideas and thoughts with other parents who have similar problems.
  • Socialize. Whether your children spend alternating weekends with your ex or you need to recruit your mother to babysit, find a way to get yourself out of the house and into the presence of grownups when you can.
How to Raise a Teenage Boy as a Single Parent

How to Raise a Teenage Boy as a Single Parent

Comments 0 Comment

It is very hard being a single parent to a teenage boy. Not only do you have to be kind, caring and nurturing, but also tough, hard and be able to stay in control.

Instructions

  • First and foremost, the most important thing that you can do as your little boy grows up, is to grow with him. Flexibility is the key tool! As your cute little angel turns into a testosterone filled adolescent – you too, will have a great deal of changing to do.
    In the early days, you are the boss; however, little by little, you need to give more and more responsibility. Your ultimate goal here is to become his friend; his confidante.
  • Boundaries are a big issue. All teenage boys will push these to the very limit. However, many young men that I have spoken to, have all agreed, that when looking back on their teenage years, boundaries set by their parent/s indicated that they were loved and cared for.
  • Always be attentive and sensitive to your son’s feelings. Boys find opening up extremely difficult. You will probably have to find new ways of talking to your son now. Be patient and do not nag. In addition, always tell your son that you are proud of him and that you love him, no matter how old. Furthermore, support your son in his choices and praise him when he begins to make these; remember, this is a big step in growing up.
  • As a single parent, it is very important to encourage your teenage son to have good relationships with other people. A grandparent, Uncle, Aunt or a neighbour. This gives your son somebody else to talk to and also provides other role models.
  • So often we feel that we have actually no impact whatsoever on our teen. However, we must remember that all the good values and morals that you have shown as he has been growing up, will not have gone to waste. Many parents find that some, if not all of these attitudes are emulated by their sons. There is no greater satisfaction than this.
  • Never allow things to get so far as a shouting match, or worse, violence. Remember, he will be probably taller and much bigger than you. If he strikes out too in a temper, he will regret this for years to come. if you feel the situation getting out of hand…..walk away! Explain that you will discuss the matter at another time, when you are both much calmer. I found that when I tried to talk to my son, I would end up sitting him down, turning the TV off and looking him in the eyes. Every time I did this, no matter what the subject, he would blow up like a fuse and an argument would commence. Since, I have found that he found this tactic too confrontational. Therefore, when I need to discuss matters with him now, I usually begin the conversation when we are in the car or washing up, etc. I seem to receive a better outcome.
  • It is paramount that you do not talk to your teen. However, it is important that you share conversations and actually listen to what he is telling you. Moreover, understanding that your son does have his own viewpoint and learning to accept and respect this, will add mutual respect to your relationship. Managing a teenage boy is “mission impossible”, although, living with one can be fun!
  • Finally, as previously stated, but I cannot reiterate this enough – set firm and clear boundaries…..yes teenage boys do need structure.

If a strategy does not work – change it!

Lighten up – take time out together. Ensure that you do something together, either every week or every month, such as going to the cinema, eating out, bowling or even a walk together. I find all sorts out from my son on these occasions. When I have asked, “why did you not tell me that before”, he would retort, “I dunno”.

Remember, life can be hard, what with work and commitments, we sometimes forget what it is like to have fun. So go ahead, grab your son and go have some fun!

Single Parent Dad: Paging Mr. Mom

Single Parent Dad: Paging Mr. Mom

Comments 0 Comment

I thought this article over at the Huffington Post was very informative. Enjoy.

Being a divorced parent means being a single parent. One of the most
fundamental reasons for the breakdown of a marriage is loss of empathy
for a spouse. It can therefore come as quite a shock to newly single
dads as to just how difficult it can be to raise kids on your own. Not
every guy can slip effortlessly into his new-found responsibilities.
Even worse — we’re scared to ask for help (probably for the same reason
we refuse to ask for directions when we’re driving despite being
hopelessly lost). In no particular order, here are some general tips
around the whole experience that I’ve found useful. As always, when it
comes to being a parent there are no rules except for giving love and
following your instincts as every relationship, every kid, and every
parent are unique.

To read the entire article click here.

Assisting Single Parent Families – Universal Love Foundation

Assisting Single Parent Families – Universal Love Foundation

Comments 0 Comment

Ten years ago the Agoura Hills-based Universal Love Foundation opened its doors and its heart to assist struggling single parents and their children. On Oct. 15, it celebrated its 10th anniversary with a fund raising gala at the Four Seasons Beverly Hills Hotel.

During cocktails, guests enjoyed a boutique shopping experience presented by a variety of area vendors and a silent auction presented by Westlake Village auction company Bang the Gavel. The keynote dinner speaker was Elli Hakami, senior vice president of programming and production for BBC Worldwide. Dinner entertainment featured music by talented, local coloratura soprano Bonnie Bowman, as well as a performance by Malibu singer/songwriter/instrumentalist Naomi Louise Warne and her son, 12-year-old Gabriel Deibel. Warne and Deibel became a single parent family following the loss of their husband/father Paul V. Deibel, and sought help from ULF to work through their grief.