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Single Parent Vacations with the Kids

Single Parent Vacations with the Kids

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National Single Parents Day is March 21. There’s not doubt that single parents have earned their day, so why not enjoy a break or mini getaway with the family. Window Seat or Aisle Seat blogger, family travel expert and single mom Kerri Zane shares destination hot spots for single parents.

Since 1984, we’ve been celebrating National Single Parents Day on March 21. Unlike Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, it is time set aside to honor those parents who individually strive to create a supportive, loving and secure environment for their children. It can also be a time to celebrate with a one-of-a-kind getaway. As a single mom adviser and author of It Takes All 5: A Single Mom’s Guide to Finding the REAL One, I’ve found special destinations that specifically cater to single parent families.

Dominican Delight

Kids jump in poolThe Grand Palladium Resort & Spa, part of the Palladium Hotel Group, in the Dominican Republic has created a super easy way to make family travel a no-brainer.

“As a mother of two, I have always been mindful of how Palladium can better accommodate to the traveling family. I want to ensure that our resorts provide those necessities to ensure that families have a relaxing and enjoyable Palladium experience.,” said Linda Scaperotto of Palladium Hotel Group.

When you make your reservation simply ask for one of their all new “family friendly rooms” (available only at Bavaro, subject to a per person supplement). After, you can send in your children’s needs and upon arrival the room will be outfitted with age-appropriate welcome packs. Everything from formula type to diaper size and video games can be included in the packs. When my daughters were little, I remember packing an entire suitcase with diapers, this would have been a great service to have available then.

The resort offers a tiered kids club to accommodate children of all ages. For children ages 1-3 there is a Baby Club. Housed in the new Kid’s Club, the Mini Club which caters to children ages 4-12, offers age-specific games, a larger swimming pool, zip line and a series of cooking classes that teach kids about local ingredients of the region. Teens join the Black & White Junior’s Club, where they’ll be treated to a wide variety of sports and entertainment programs. Meanwhile, single parents are able to relax in any of the resort’s four pools or at the first-class Spa & Wellness Center, play at the resort’s casino or venture to any one of the 14 bars spread throughout the resort.

In honor of National Single Parents Day the Grand Palladium Resort and Spa has joined with me in offering a FREE 4-night getaway! For more information and to enter the contest visit kerrizane.com.

Down on the Farm

Horseback riding kids At Buck Valley Ranch, you and your children can get in touch with your inner cowboy or cowgirl. Nestled in the Appalachian Mountains of Pennsylvania’s Fulton County, horseback riding is the main attraction.  You’ll stay in a four bedroom guest house filled with cowboy memorabilia and antiques. Healthy and hearty meals are served daily with attention to dietary needs. You can either relax in the hot tub or cool off in the swimming pool. Nearby you can enjoy biking on the C&O canal, canoeing and kayaking in the Potomac River, and golfing. Walk out the front door and you’ll have access to 2,000 acres of hiking. A 3-day, all-inclusive package (meals, riding, lodging) costs $300.

 

Single Parents Have Questions

Single Parents Have Questions

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As I search the internet for things to help single parents with their desire to be the best parents they can be, I come across many questions posted by single parents.

As I come across questions that single parents are asking, I will post them in a new category called Single Parent Questions.  My hope is that you will be able to find answers to some of your single parent questions.  If not, leave a question in the comments and we’ll try to find some answers for you.

Just as a Note:  The answers to many of the questions do not necessarily reflect my own oppinion on the suject matter.

Single Parent Fed up with Indulgent Grandma

Single Parent Fed up with Indulgent Grandma

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From  The Boston Globe

Q. I am 26 and a single parent to a 3-year-old girl. I love my daughter more than anything. However, in the past few months, she has become a brat, doing everything she can to test me.

Due to recent financial problems, we had to move in with my mother until I can finish my degree and get a job. No matter what discipline I use, nothing works because my mother undermines me. There is no consistency in what is right or wrong. My mother always gives in to her every request.

Once in a while, I will spank my daughter. My mother, however, cornered me and gave me a lecture on how awful I am for spanking my child. Yet I can clearly recall being spanked by my mother when I was little.

Mom questions my parenting in front of my daughter. I am grateful that she opened her home to us, but I can’t be an effective parent when she constantly undercuts my authority. How can I get her to keep her child-rearing opinions to herself?

TEXAS

A. While we agree with your mother that discipline does not require spanking, we also understand how difficult it is to raise a child when an indulgent grandparent rules the roost. First, have a sit-down discussion with Mom when your daughter is asleep. Get her to acknowledge that a lack of discipline is not healthy for her grandchild. Compromise by agreeing to use different forms of discipline other than spanking. Create rules you can both abide by. If that doesn’t work, bring Mom to your next pediatrician appointment, and ask the doctor to speak to her. And find other living arrangements as soon as possible.

How to be a Single Parent Success

How to be a Single Parent Success

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The reality of single parenting

We hear a lot about single parent households in the news, and how challenging a single parent home can be for children growing up.  As much as single parents don’t want to hear that (especially those who didn’t choose to be a single parent), the challenges should not be ignored.  However, there is research that shows that children of single parents can avoid many challenges, and thrive when they’re provided consistent love and support.

If you search online you can find many resources and organizations, both nationally and locally, that exist to help single parents succeed in raising healthy, well adjusted kids.  And that’s very important, but the critical daily needs of a child, and the managing of daily responsibilities must be shouldered by the single parent.  As we all know, that can be overwhelming at times.

So how do single parents succeed?

Love

Tell your children that you love them.  You’d be surprised how many parents forget to tell their kids that they love them.  Show your kids that you love them.  Show the kids that you love them enough to be a responsible parent.  They will thank you later.

Consistency

Children do best when they have consistent routines and guidelines; and your house runs smoother.  Make sure your child has a consistent schedule and bedtime.  Establish rules and boundaries that are consistently enforced with appropriate consequences for violations.  Don’t forget to praise good behavior.

Communication

Have family meetings once a week to share the up-coming schedule and get feedback from your kids.  You may not think that you need a weekly meeting because you and your child always talk; or your child’s too young, but think again.  As your kids get older, family meeting time may be the only time they can re-connect with the rest of the family.  The longer you wait to start this ritual, the harder it is to maintain in a single parent household.

Attention

Listen to what your kids are saying; especially when they’re not talking.  Know who their friends are; and their friend’s parents.  Know what they’re watching, listening to, and where they’re going online.  Know where your children are at all times.  Again, the older your kids get, the more important this becomes.

We all know that it’s not easy being a single parent, but we can make it easier on our kids and on ourselves if we follow some important rules.

Single Parent Dads – Happy Fathers Day

Single Parent Dads – Happy Fathers Day

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Happy Fathers Day to all the hardworking dads out there; single parent dads, joint custody dads, step dads and regular dads.

I’ve found some inspiring articles about dads.  I hope you enjoy them.  And enjoy your special day!

Single dads find support among their peers

Just because Sheldon Kitzul is a social worker and life coach doesn’t mean he  has all the answers to the challenges of fatherhood, including single parenting.  So, recently, he dropped into 1UP, the Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre to  see what they offered and opted to join its Dads With Dads Support Group.

Read more:  http://www.vancouverson.com

A special tribute on Father’s Day to single dads

Until recently, many occupations were “gendered,” in that people thought of them as being necessarily male or female. A doctor, for example, was always assumed to be male, while a nurse was inevitably seen as female.

This meant that female doctors and male nurses were all but invisible. But no longer: The fall of gender barriers in recent decades has provided new visibility to those who previously lived in the shadows.

Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com

Fathers get a bad rap in the media and the courts

Arnold Schwarzenegger. John Edwards. Eliot Spitzer. John Ensign. Mark Sanford. To hear the media tell it, we live in the era of the bad dad.

Stories about famous, successful men who submit to temptation and harm their family lives in the process certainly make great headlines and Internet fodder, as do the divorces that often follow.

Lost in the obsession over this handful of episodes is the fact that research shows that most fathers are heavily invested in their kids’ lives and that their presence is vital.

Read more:  http://www.star-telegram.com

Fathers Day: Dads are very important, and every child should have one in their lives

This is the day for fathers and their children to celebrate that they have each other.

There is much to celebrate. Dads are enormously important. They understand boys as only a former boy can, and can offer guidance and examples that only a male can provide. They teach daughters things a man understands better than a woman, and help them get ready to have healthy relationships with males.

Read more: http://www.dailypress.com

On Father’s Day, honoring the single dads who step up

Most days, it sure doesn’t feel to Mark Hertle like he’s part of one of society’s hottest trends. Take what is supposed to be a routine part of parenting: the PTA meeting.

“I go in to those meetings, and I’m still viewed with some suspicion,” Hertle says. “It’s like: Why am I there? Am I cruising for a date or something? It’s just a little bit of a sense you get, that you’re an outlier.” Yet in that often thankless duty of child-rearing, they say nobody is stepping up these days more than dads like Hertle. By which I mean: single dads.

Read more:  http://seattletimes.nwsource.com

Are You a Single Parent Idiot?

Are You a Single Parent Idiot?

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5 Things Some Single Parents Do that make us All Look Bad

Let’s face it, being a single parent is not the easiest job in the world; and for some it’s overwhelming.  What makes matters worse is that single parents are portrayed in the media as being uneducated, lazy and neglectful.  Some studies even suggest that single parents are raising the next crop of prison inmates.  Because of the negative public image that single parents and their children must overcome, it is frustrating when some single parents do things that make us all look bad.  If you’re reading Single Parent advice websites like this one, you’re probably not ‘one of those’ single parents.  If you know ‘one of those’ single parents, maybe you can tactfully send them this list.

1.  You Send your Kids to School Dirty

Ask any teacher what their pet peeves are when it comes to parents, and right at the top is children who show up to school in dirty clothes and/or in need of a bath.  I know that it isn’t just single parents that are guilty of this, but no matter how stretched you are as a single parent, make sure your children go to school clean.  It helps your child get viewed in a positive way.  It helps your child’s self-esteem.  And it reflects well on you, as a single parent which, in turn helps all single parents.

2.  You Haven’t Given Your Children Structure

If this doesn’t happen early, good luck trying to reign in your middle or high-schooler.  Children thrive on structure.  You don’t have to be a drill sergeant but if you have to be the mom and the dad, you’re going to have to face the fact that you need to be loving but firm.  Let your children know who the parent is; what the rules are, and why they are important.  And let them know what the consequences are if those rules are broken. If you’re consistent, you’ll be surprised how quickly your children willingly stay within the boundaries you’ve set.  And by the time your children reach middle school, they will already have these good habits instilled in them.

3.  You Turn your Child Against the Other Parent

I can hear some single parents saying, ‘I didn’t turn my child against their other parent; the other parent did it by________________’ (fill in the blank).  Whether your child’s other parent is involved and paying child support, or not involved at all; your child is still genetically half of that person.  No matter how horrible the other parent is to you, or even your child, you can still refrain from speaking badly.  You can teach your child that it’s okay to love the other parent but hate their behavior.  Why would you want to do this?  Because your child’s emotional health and self esteem depend on it.  Growing up knowing that you come from two ‘good’ parents; even if one of those parents is making really bad choices right now, helps kids emotionally.  A child who is brought up thinking that one half of the gene pool that created him/her is ‘bad’, can’t help but be convinced that part of that ‘bad’ is inside of them.  And that causes problems later on.

4.  You Burden Your Child with Your Problems

One of the best things that you can do for your child is to let them know that they don’t have to worry.  Sure there will be problems.  Maybe the car breaks down and you don’t know how you’re going to manage.  Or maybe you don’t know how you’re going to come up with the rent money this month. Instead of burdening your child by telling them you don’t have a clue what you’ll do, they need to hear that, no matter what, you are the parent and you will take care of them.  Children need a sense that someone is steering the boat and is taking responsibility.  Children are children, and burdening them with adult issues forces them to worry about things that they’re not mature enough to handle.  If you love your children, you’ll unload on an adult friend; that’s what they’re for.

5.  Your Issues have you Dragging your Children through Multiple Bad Relationships

If you’ve had a messed up childhood and never got counseling for it, chances are you’re still messed up and you’re passing this ‘messed-upness’ onto your children.  You love your kids.  You don’t want to set them up for a lifetime of low self-esteem and broken relationships with all the wrong people.  So before you begin that next screwed-up relationship, go get help.  If not for you; for your kids.

There’s a lot of bad press out there about single parents and the effects of single parenting on children.  And while many of us didn’t choose single parenting, it was thrust upon us, we can still be smart single parents and prove the ‘experts’ wrong.