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Organization Tips for Single Parents

05/07/2021 Hope Comments 0 Comment

Let’s face it, life is BUSY! And you’re a single parent so life is BUSIER! Carving out some leisure/free/fun time for you and your kids takes some planning and organizational skills, but it’s worth it.

Who doesn’t want more free, fun time with their kids! Let’s see how we can make more of that happen.

Daily Routines are Your Friends

Establish daily routines for your family so that everyone knows what’s expected of them. Routines won’t solve all of your battles, but there’ll be fewer surprises. Bedtime routines as well as morning routines really help your single parent household run more efficiently. Don’t forget homework, chores, and meal time routines. Get yourself a dry erase board and have your routines in a place where everyone sees them often. Routines definitely save you time.

A Family Calendar is a Must

Along with your routines board, you need a family calendar where everyone can see it. Keep track of your special events, special school activities, and appointments, etc. This cuts down on conflicts and lets you, and the kids keep track of the logistics of who needs to be where at what time. An up to date family calendar will save you even more time.

Motivate your Kids to do their Chores

You’re a single parent. You need to get household chores done on a daily basis but there’s no way you can do it alone. You may disagree, but the fastest way to get the chores done (and with no whining) is to offer an incentive. It could be money but it doesn’t have to be. You can make the incentive internet access when their chores are done. Whatever motivates your child. Chores are more likely to get done quickly and properly if there is an incentive attached.

Plan Your Meals

Obviously you’re going to take your kids’ preferences into consideration, but it is a huge time and money saver when you plan your meals out weekly. Planning your weekly meals out saves on trips to the grocery store – you only need to go once. If you can pre-make meals for the week and freeze them, you save even more time. An added bonus is family fun time together in the kitchen if your kids like to cook with you.

If you follow these tips you will be able to regain some precious time that you and your kids can use for more enjoyable things, like spending some fun leisure time together.

The Divorce is Over – Now What? New Single Parent Reality

04/27/2021 Donna Comments 0 Comment

For some, going through a divorce can feel like all your hopes and dreams were just crushed under a huge pile of bricks; while for others it can feel like a pile of bricks was lifted from your back. Either way, moving on as a single parent is a new and sometimes challenging experience. Let’s look at some of the things that might crop up as you start your single parent life.

Feeling Lonely

One of the more challenging aspects of being a single parent is the feeling of being alone. Sometimes being alone can be a positive thing but if you are missing that special connection with another adult then you are not alone. Rather than putting yourself out there in the “market” right away take some time for you. Companionship can be found in many healthy activities such as craft groups, support groups, a bowling team, or anywhere you can make new friends and not feel so alone.

Healing Time

Give yourself some time to heal before dating again. For some, healing can involve learning to love yourselves again, and for others it could be learning to be on your own as a single parent. As much as you may feel like you can never do this alone don’t jump into another relationship until you have proven to yourself that you can. For some this can prove to be a struggle but it is possible. The only true way to have a healthy relationship with anyone is to be a whole (healed) person before you begin a relationship.

Find Support

Build a support group of friends and family. Choose only those who help you to feel good about yourself. Disconnect from those who put you down or doubt your abilities. You don’t need those people. And yes, you can tell them. Simply say that if they don’t have something positive to contribute then you can’t be around them right now. They will either change their ways or move on. If you find yourself without positive support or just would like more then you can always turn to local church groups in your community. Many larger churches have single parent support groups.

Children Need Healing and Support as Well

Your children need time to adjust to their new normal. Healing and support is crucial for them as well. No matter how adjusted you thing you are, think about where your kids are in their adjustment journey before you think about starting a new relationship. And when they are ready, and you’re thinking about dating, ask yourself: Will this person be a good influence? How soon should I introduce a new person into my child’s life? How will my child react? These are all valid questions and there is no one correct answer. The best thing to do is to consider these questions and more before you even consider dating.

You Will Adapt and Thrive as a Single Parent if you Allow Yourself

Adjusting to being a single parent is sometimes quite hard. Don’t give up on yourself though. You will adjust, heal, and become a better person/parent for your children.

5 Common Questions Single Parents Ask

04/26/2021 Donna Comments 0 Comment

1. How Do I Adjust to Being a Single Parent?

Being a single parent isn’t easy, especially in the beginning. But instead of giving in and feeling sorry for yourself, take steps to start the adjustment process right away. Get involved in a single parent support group. There you can find support and fun. Reach out to other single parents in your community. Invite them and their kids over for a play date or a picnic in the park. Be kind and take care of yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the better you’ll feel as a single parent.

2. Will I Ever Heal? How Can I Start the Healing Process?

Whether your spouse died or you’ve just gone through a divorce, you will need to go through the grieving process. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance are all a part of that process. For some the process is quicker than others. To help yourself through the grieving process, get involved in a support group. Let yourself cry when you feel like crying. Exercise; pursue a hobby; get yourself around other adults, and accept help from others. Help others. This actually has an amazing healing affect. Finally, seek out the help of a professional counselor/therapist if after 6 months you’re still not moving through the grieving process.

3. How am I Going to Live on My New Budget?

Newly single parents usually have to adjust to a new, smaller budget. This is something that you need to pay attention to right away. You cannot live the way you did when there were two incomes. Create a brutally honest budget for your single parent family and stick to it. Maxing out your credit cards and possibly ruining your credit will only make matters WAY worse for a long time. Look for ways to increase your income. Try to eliminate or restructure any debt that you currently have. Live within your means by cutting out all but necessary expenses. As you adjust to single parent living you can then start adding additional expenses to your budget as your income allows.

Where Can I Find a Single Parent Support Group?

You should be able to find more than on single parent support group in your community. You may even be able to find single parent support groups that cater to specific sub-groups such as single moms, single dads, etc. Many religious organizations off single parent support groups, so look there. Ask for referral from doctors, or other single parents in the community. Google single parent support groups in your area.

5. How do I Start Dating Again?

Whether you want to date just for the adult companionship or you’re looking for something more serious, here are a few ideas on how to meet new potential dates. For sure there are many dating apps out there. If you decide to use a dating app, use caution. People can be very deceptive on dating apps. Instead, join a gym or take a night class at your local community college. You can spend time at bookstores, museums, or any other place where single frequent. A great place to meet new people (potential dates included) is your local church. Offer to volunteer which gives you a built in excuse to talk to everyone.

Dating can boost your ego as a newly single parent but be very cautious. Take it slow, and don’t put yourself out there until you’ve had time to heal from your previous relationship.

Single Parents: Do You Have the Life Insurance You Need?

03/21/2021 Donna Comments 0 Comment

The Importance of Planning Ahead

As a single parent, you’re probably used to getting things done by yourself and provide for your family as best as you can. But what if something were to happen to you? Who will provide for your kids? In addition to having a Will, you should really have life insurance to be sure that your children will be financially provided for in your absence.

Life insurance is especially important for single parents, particularly if there is no back-up breadwinner for your children to rely on. The good news is you can usually get affordable life insurance through your employer if you have a full-time job. If you don’t have that option you will need to do some research and find an insurance provider that works for you. Take the time to scout out life insurance quotes on term life insurance, whole life insurance or a mix of both, if you haven’t already.

How Much Life Insurance should a Single Parent Have?

The amount of insurance you should buy is generally equal six to eight times your annual salary. There are a few factors that would determine how much you would have to pay for life insurance. Some factors are your age, and whether you have any pre-existing conditions. You also want to decide whether you want term life insurance or whole life insurance. And you definitely want to shop around for the best prices. Find a policy that works within your budget. You should be able to find a policy whose monthly payments are manageable.

Are there Other Sources of Income I Could Pass to my Children?

As you consider purchasing single parent single parent life insurance to protect your children’s future, look into other potential sources of income that can be passed on to your children. This could include retirement plans, other savings and Social Security. Doing these things could provide you with peace of mind should something unfortunate happen.

If you pass away before your kids are 19, they may be eligible to receive your Social Security benefit. Disabled children and elderly parents who depend on you for at least half their income may also receive “survivor benefits.” Questions on how much you can expect to receive on your Social Security benefit can be answered by visiting the Social Security Administration’s website.

Make a Plan for Your Children’s Future

Financial planning can be a difficult exercise for most people to wrap their minds around, but for the single parent it’s important to consider. It might be a good idea to visit with a financial planner if you aren’t confident about what type of savings plan you should have in place for your children. But as you have been able to provide for your children on your own in the past, protecting their future is just one more thing you can do as a strong single parent.

Have a Good Single Parent Plan

03/20/2021 Donna Comments 0 Comment

Becoming a Single Mom or Dad

You may not have started with the plan of being a single mom, but the statistics don’t lie. Becoming a single parent is inevitable for many parents.

Ideally, raising a child involves a full time mother and father, since each bring different strengths and therefore a broader way of attending to the different needs of the child. But when it is no longer possible to keep the nuclear family intact, then it’s better to become a single parent than to sacrifice your emotional and/or physical health; and that of your child’s as well.

If you’re thinking about separating from your child’s other parent, now is the time to start planning for life as a single parent. Making such monumental decisions without a plan can be a disaster. Planning for your future as a single parent helps to ensure that your child will grow up to be an independent and responsible human being despite having only one full time parent.

Where to start

Make a commitment to be an effective single parent. Realize up front that there will be pressures with work and financial responsibilities that will seem overwhelming at the time. However, outside pressure is not an excuse to water down your commitment to raising your child in the healthiest, most loving way possible.

Make your Emotional Needs a High Priority

Experts agree, the best single parents are the ones who make their own emotional needs a high priority. This means maintaining a life that doesn’t completely revolve around your child and being a single mom or dad. Children thrive in an environment where they feel safe, loved, and cared for. If you haven’t taken responsibility and dealt with your own issues, you’ll be stuck in victim mode. To develop a healthy way of relating to the world, your Children need the strength and guidance that only a healthy parent can give them. Since there is a need for you to be strong and healthy for your child, dealing with your own issues first is a must. You don’t necessarily need to go to counseling, but it could definitely help. Be sure that you have a group of friends or family to provide emotional support so that you don’t lean on your child for support. Also know that many parents have been right where you are, and they’ve adjusted to their new life just fine. And in time you will too.

Find your Inner Motivation

It is a must for single parents to find a way to motivate themselves to keep moving forward. Some days will be tougher than others. Finding your reason for getting up when you don’t want to; or plowing through a difficult situation will make all the difference. Many adults become responsible single parents because they have motivated themselves to look for positive things that the situations brought them. Successful, effective single parenting typically follows once the single mom or dad is able to find his or her source of motivation in achieving goals that they’ve set not only for themselves but for the children as well.

Assess your Strengths and Weaknesses

For you to become an effective single parent, you really want to undergo lots of reflection and self-assessment to know what are your strengths and your weaknesses. If you know your strengths as a parent, your child will see that in you and they will believe that you can take care of them even if you are the only parent. It’s also important to address your weaknesses so you know areas in parenting that you should improve on. By know your own weaknesses as a parent, you can turn these into opportunities that will make single parenting more successful for you and for your child.

Choose to be a Single Parent Success

You may not have chosen this journey for yourself and your child, but here you are. And you can choose to be a great success at being a single parent. Just set your mind to it and let nothing stop you from being the best single mom or dad. Many single parents have gone down this path before you and succeeded in raising wonderfully adjusted kids. Set you mind in the right place and let nothing stop you, and you too will be a very successful single parent.

Single Parent Dating Advice

03/18/2021 Donna Comments 0 Comment

How Hard Can it Be?

Is it hard dating as a single parent?

Although dating at any age can be a challenge, often times it is more challenging for a single parent to get out there and meet new people. But dating as a single parent doesn’t have to be as difficult as it sounds. There are many small things that can be done to help you, as a single parent meet singles and maybe begin a relationship.

Don’t Become a Hermit

How do single moms get time to date?

Dating can be difficult for both the single parent and the child, but there are a few things to keep in mind when beginning dating. First and foremost, make time to take care of yourself. Make taking care of yourself a top priority. People who take the time to properly care for themselves show that they also have the ability to take care of another person in a relationship. It is always easier to take care of someone else, after you have taken care of yourself.

Another thing to keep in mind is to make an attempt to get out of the house regularly and create a wider circle of friends. Get some exercise by walking around your neighborhood daily. You will start seeing the same people, and can develop new friends who are also your neighbors. And maybe you will also meet other single parents that you can potentially swap babysitting duties with. Also, by allowing the kids some time with friends or family, moms can free up an evening (or late afternoon) for a date. Getting out of the house increases your chances of meeting new people who could potentially be a great person to go on a date with. By getting out of the house you will also train your children to be fine with you not being the only person who can care for them. Many single parents want to get out more but feel guilty about leaving their children with someone else. Don’t fall into that trap. It can be as unhealthy for the children as it is for you.

Try an Online Dating Site

What is the best dating site for single parents?

While some people have an aversion to online dating apps (and prefer church/neighborhood groups or friend referrals to find potential dates), many more people turn to online dating to meet people.

For single parents online dating apps can make it easier to find people who share similar interests. By meeting people at an online dating site, it allows you to narrow down the qualities that you find attractive in people from the comfort of your home. The most important thing to keep in mind is to be honest with your online dating profile. Your qualities will bring enough people to your profile; there isn’t a need to exaggerate them. Being yourself is always the best approach. Another thing to keep in mind when creating your profile is the profile picture. Always make sure to include two or three photos to prove that you are who you say that you are. It is also important to make sure that it is a clear high quality photo as many people may skip over blurry photos.

So what is the best dating site for single parents? Well, the best site all depends on what you’re looking for. If you want to get back into a serious relationship you might want to stick to the older/established sites like eharmony or match.com. If you’re looking for something else; maybe just flirtatious chit chat after the little ones go to bed, you might want to try other sites. It really depends on what you’re looking for and how much you want to spend if you decide on a paid dating site.

A word of caution. When dating online be very careful about giving out any private information; or any information about your children. While there are up front people (just like yourself) online; there are also those that are not what they seem. At the very least do an online search on a potential date before you agree to meet up.

Take it Slow

Taking dating slow is the way to go. If someone you just met (online or otherwise) seems too good to be true; or is rushing things in the relationship slow things down because this is a potential red flag. As a single mom recognize that you might be vulnerable and an easier target for someone to take advantage of you. If you start dating someone who you think is so perfect for you, then they will understand that the healthy thing to do is to take the relationship slow. Letting new relationships progress at a slower pace will also help your children get used to this new person in your life before they have to accept him in their lives.

Don’t Get Discouraged

In this day and age it seems it’s getting harder and harder to meet quality people to date. And there are added health issues with meeting up with new people. Don’t be discouraged though. Take time to work on yourself and the relationships that you do have. And lean into your faith. The more content you are with yourself, the more attractive you will be to others.