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8 Tips on Reducing Single Parent Stress

8 Tips on Reducing Single Parent Stress

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Raising kids can be stressful.  Raising kids alone can be STRESSFUL.  Here are some tips to reduce your single parent stress.

1. Get Your Finances Under Control

Raising a family on a reduced income can be one of the the most stressful aspects of being a single parent. That’s why one of the first things that you should do is understand your expenses, and make a budget.  Controlling your cash flow by sticking to a budget is one of the most important things that you can do to reduce stress and move forward with your single parent life.

2. Set Up a Support System

All single parents need help — whether it’s someone to watch the kids while you run out to do errands or simply someone to talk to when you feel overwhelmed. While it’s tempting to try to handle everything alone, ask friends and family members for help. You could join a single-parent support group, or, if finances allow, hire a trusted sitter to help out with the kids or someone to assist with housework.



3. Set UP and Keep Daily and Weekly Routines

The more routines you have in place, the more smoothly your house will run.  Schedule meals and chores on a weekly calendar.  Have a set bedtime for the kids, along with a bedtime routine (bath, brush teeth, lay out clothes, quiet reading time before bed).  Once in place, these routines will be comforting to your children because they will know what to expect each day.  Consistent routines will help your kids feel more secure, and your household will run much more smoothly.

4. Maintain Healthy Boundaries with Your Children

When you become a single parent there tends to be a big void where your partner used to be.  Many times it’s tempting to rely too heavily on children for comfort, companionship, or sympathy. But relying on your children to act as substitutes for an adult partner is unhealthy for both of you.  Instead of relying on your children for emotional support seek out other adults for your emotional needs.  If you don’t have family or friends to rely on, many churches have single parent support groups to help.  Different churches offer different kinds of support, but you might be surprised at how supportive they can be.  Or seek counseling if necessary.

5. Carve Out Quality Time with Your Children

As a single parent there is always going to be something you need to do around the house; but don’t let that stop you from connecting with your children in a meaningful way every day.  Use your routines to connect – a quick bedtime story; or family breakfast catch up with your children will keep you connected daily.  Then find larger chunks of time, perhaps on the weekends to do fun things together – bike rids, crafts or baking can provide the fun bonding time you need with your children.  And it doesn’t have to cost anything.  As long as you focus on love and connection, your time as a family will surely be quality time.



6. Take Time for Yourself

I know it sometimes seems impossible to carve out any time for yourself, but it is so important.  With your budget, routines, and rituals in place it will be much easier to accomplish.  Remember, if you’re not at your best, nothing in you single parent household is going to be running at its best.  Even if it’s something as simple as a warm bath, or 15 minutes of reading before you go to bed.  Setting aside personal time for you to refuel will do wonders for your whole family.

7. Stay positive

As a single parent it can be easy to become overwhelmed by all your responsibilities every day.  On top of that, you may not have wanted the divorce.  Or maybe you are grieving the death of a spouse.  It is true; you do have to go through the grieving process.  And you do have to deal with your feelings regarding a divorce; but you can still cultivate a positive environment in your home.  The key is to move through and process the painful event that has happened in your family.  Don’t get stuck in the pain.  Don’t let negativity and sadness become what you and your family is now about.  If you’re feeling sad, it’s okay to share some of your sentiments with your children, but always try to help them see that for every ending there is a new beginning.

8. Dream About and Plan for the Future

This really needs no explanation.  The way to make a great future is to dream about and plan for a great future.  Do this, and teach your children how to do this, and things will turn out just fine.

When is it OK to Leave my Children Home Alone?

When is it OK to Leave my Children Home Alone?

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As a single parent you may be asking yourself, ‘when can I start leaving my children home alone?’ This may be out of necessity or because your children seem mature enough and don’t want to go with you everywhere you go.

Before you make the decision to leave you children home alone there are many things to consider. The following is a link to an article that covers everything that you need to think about and address before you decide to leave your children at home without you.

Children Home Alone – Decide When to Leave Them Home

RHONY’s Kelly Bensimon: Single Parenting is Not Easy

RHONY’s Kelly Bensimon: Single Parenting is Not Easy

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kellybensimon
Real Housewives of New York City‘s Kelly Bensimon is a single mother, and according to Kelly, it’s not easy.  Here’s what she had to say about single parenting:

“I am a single parent and it’s not easy. For anyone who is a single parent, it is nothing to be flippant about. It is really, really difficult. I have to work as well, and it’s something that I’ve always done. I’ve always worked and I’ve always been a single parent. This is my life and it’s how I am trying to raise my kids. I want them to have really great values. I don’t want to be that parent that’s like, “I work so much that I kind of spoil them.” I am trying to give my kids those Midwestern values that I find very important.”

The Real Housewives of New York alum recently hosted the launch of Original Scent, the new luxury scent bar in Pasadena. The reality TV star, 44, raves about the new “boutique where you can make your own personal fragrance.”

Kelly opens up to Celebrity Baby Scoop about her daughters – Sea, 14, and Thadeus, 12 – who are her “greatest luxury.” She goes on to talk about the difficulties of single motherhood and her greatest regret from appearing on RHONY, saying the show did not accurately portray her life.

You can read the entire article at Celebrity Baby Scoop.

POSP – Better Opportunities for Single Parents

POSP – Better Opportunities for Single Parents

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This from the Fort Bliss Monitor

Single parents attend the Better Opportunities for Single Parents monthly meeting March 12 at the Combat Aviation Brigade Dining Facility. Photo by Sgt. Ida Irby, 24th Press Camp Headquarters.
Single parents attend the Better Opportunities for Single Parents monthly meeting March 12 at the Combat Aviation Brigade Dining Facility. Photo by Sgt. Ida Irby, 24th Press Camp Headquarters.

Sgt. Ida Irby, 24th Press Camp Headquarters:

Better Opportunities for Single Parents is a fresh organization created to give a voice to single parents in the Army. The Fort Bliss BOSP group hopes to also reach out to DoD civilians, National Guard, reservists, retirees, and veterans of all branches who are in a single-parent situation due to temporary duty, overseas deployment or separate duty stations.

Since November 2011, the BOSP program is growing daily as a result of up-to-date commander’s briefings, newcomers briefings and family readiness group trainings.

“Bring your voice, your issues and your concerns,” said Sgt. Richard Carreon, vice president of the BOSP. “‘Total Army Family’ sums up what it takes for single parents to be successful. Without the chain of command, chain of concern, FRG, family care plans and the arsenal of Army programs; it would be virtually impossible to raise a child as a single or dual military parent.”

Why It’s Better to Be a Single Parent

Why It’s Better to Be a Single Parent

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This article comes to us from Dishon & Block

Being a single parent is not an ideal situation. No matter how you spin it, almost everyone agrees that having two parents is better than one. However, being a single parent post-divorce or separation gets a worse rep than it deserves, and there are advantages to raising children alone.

Rather than trying to work with your ex to make parenting compromises, you’ll get to make your own decisions. Kerri Zane, single mother advisor, offers five reasons that being a single parent actually can be better:

1- No negotiations necessary. Parents trying to co-parent will continue to fight and deal with disagreeing views on how to raise their children. All the fighting and disagreeing can make both environments unhealthy for your child. As a single parent you can be the security blanket and the healthy, loving parent that your child needs.

You can read the entire article here.

Connie Britton on being a Single Parent

Connie Britton on being a Single Parent

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Connie Britton

Single Parent Love Life

Connie Britton loves being a mother, but she does admit that being a single parent can be particularly challenging when it comes to her love life.

The Emmy-nominated Friday Night Lights actress (who next stars in the primetime drama Nashville) confesses that she’s ready for love, but there’s no time to pursue romance.

“I have no sex life right now,” Britton, 45, revealed during Lifetime’s The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet on Thursday. “I keep thinking about how I could do it, how I could pull it off.”

In November 2011, Britton adopted an Ethiopian baby boy, Yoby, after waiting three years for a referral. Now that she’s adjusted to life as a mother, Britton jokes that she’s ready to get it on. “I’m just talking about how I get laid while I have a baby,” Britton laughed.

Britton is only half-joking because she said she’s “in great shape to meet a man” but doesn’t “have time” to juggle dating and working with taking care of little Yoby. “When I go home, I have my little guy.”

Starting a Family as a Single Parent

The decision to start a family without a partner was difficult, but ultimately worth it, Britton explains.

“There was a lot of grief about having not started this journey with the man who was going to be my partner. I anticipate finishing it with a man who’s going to be my partner,” Britton said. “I definitely had to grieve that, but I also didn’t want to wait anymore. I absolutely know that this was something that I want for my life, and I’m really fortunate… and I feel like I can do it.”