There are 4 key things that anyone, including single parents, can learn from the Oprah interview with Meghan Markle.

1. We will go to the ends of the earth to protect those we love.
2. No family is perfect.  Some less perfect than others.  Many families struggle with the same issues.
3. If you have challenging family members sometimes it’s best to limit exposure to them to stay sane.
4. When it comes to family: airing grievances to anyone who will listen, and asking people to choose sides is never a good idea long term.  The people it hurts most are the children.

How can I Protect My Child from Negative Situations/Family Members?

Is your child in real or perceived danger? Let’s be honest. Almost all of us can recall a time when we ‘thought’ someone was being toxic, only to reconsider once our own egos have calmed down and got out of the way. If you’re certain that your ego is not clouding your judgement; and there is obvious toxic behavior going on, then you need to start reinforcing your own (and your child’s) boundaries.

First, withdraw support for the family member. Family should support one another but if a toxic person’s behavior will jeopardize your child’s self-esteem, confidence or self-concept then limiting your child’s exposure to toxic family is appropriate. Note: withdrawing support is different than going to battle.

It is a fact, you can’t change anyone else’s behavior. You can only change your own behavior. If someone is violating your boundaries, take a step back and clearly state your boundaries. If that doesn’t work, continue to remove yourself (and your child), a step at a time until your boundaries are secure. Hopefully you won’t have to go completely no contact to achieve this, but you can’t control how far the other person may go to trample your boundaries.

You can’t control someone else, but you can control how far you distance yourself to protect you and your child’s boundaries.

How do I Get Along with Challenging Family Members?

Keep calm and carry on. Many of us have challenging family members. If you are secure within yourself, you don’t need another person’s approval. You also don’t need to prove how ‘right’ you are. If a family member is saying things you disapprove of, it’s not your job to ‘correct’ them. You can say, ‘that’s an interesting point of view’ and move on to another family member who is less challenging.

If you accept the difficult family member for who they are, then you never expect them to act any differently. Once you do that you can truly have compassion for them; and wish for them hope and joy in the future (for everyone’s sake). Sometimes accepting a family member for who they are ‘right now’ – lumps, bumps, negative attitudes and all; is the very thing that lifts them out of their negative attitude and challenging behavior.

Is it Ever OK to go ‘No Contact’ with a Toxic Family Member?

If a family member is truly toxic, you will definitely not change them. On the contrary, they will love for you to try to change them. Your interest in trying to change a toxic person is their cue that you are now caught up in their web of toxicity. Challenging people are just difficult, but toxic people thrive off of sucking the life out of people. Avoid toxic people and do not let them get under your skin or in your head. They find joy in tearing other people down.

The only way of dealing with a truly toxic family member is having no contact with them. But as a compassionate human being you can still wish them healing from afar.

Is it OK to use Social Media to Vent about Challenging Family Members?

This will be a quick paragraph. The answer is NO.

Whatever you put on the internet is there forever (whether you delete it or not). People change, situations change, and thoughts change. At some point in your life you will likely regret venting about family members (or anyone for that matter) online. If you must get it out, start hand writing in a diary or journal.

In conclusion: No matter which side of the Meghan Markle vs. The Queen saga you are on we can all learn from it. Challenging, unhealthy people will come and go throughout the healthiest of lives. And they are looking for a kind, generous person to latch onto. It’s up to you to have strong, healthy boundaries. And it’s up to you to defend those boundaries should someone try to walk all over them.