Learn to Manage Your Money Effectively

Single parents often have added financial stress, so you will need some pretty good money management skills.

If you need some help learning better money management, search Google or YouTube for money management and budgeting sites.  Some popular sites are Mint , Dave Ramsey , The Penny Hoarder .

Before you can manage your money effectively, you need to know where you stand regarding debt.  Many people avoid this because they’re afraid to know the truth.  But you need to face how much debt you may have, and come up with a plan to pay down your debt.

Stop paying for things that you don’t use or need.  No one needs expensive cable bills.  If you’re not using it you don’t need that gym membership.  You can workout at home or at the park.  Call your utility companies and see if you can negotiate lower rates.

Put your family on a budget.  Yes, involve your kids.  Teach them good money management habits now and they will thank you for years to come.

Don’t Speak Badly About the Other Parent

Regardless of how badly your relationship may have ended, it is never wise to bad-mouth your ex in front of your child.  The best thing that you can do for your child is to let them love both of their parents without guilt.

If you have children who are a little older, be careful to not get caught up in little manipulations from your very own darlings kids.  It is very common for children to pit one parent against the other if it serves their purposes.  If you find your child trying to manipulate you in this way, stay very neutral regarding the other parent.  Then communicate with the other parent.

Your child’s other parent may have lied to you, cheated on you, etc.  You definitely need to heal from that.  Deal with your emotions by confiding in a friend and/or seeing a therapist.  But do not discuss any of your problems with your child.  Things are never black and white.  You aren’t all good and the other parent all evil.  It is not good for your child’s mental health.

If you speak badly about your child’s other parent you may lose custody of your child.  Parental Alienation is a real thing, and it is very damaging to a child.  If a judge determines that you’re speaking negatively to the point where you’re harming your child’s relationship with the other parent, the judge has the authority to take your custodial rights away from you.  It’s that serious.

Ask for Help

There is no shame in asking for help; it doesn’t denote failure or that you aren’t worthy as a parent. In fact, asking for assistance whether it’s as simple as fetching your child from school or if it’s a bit trickier, like dealing with puberty, makes you a better parent.

If you have an amicable relationship with your child’s other parent you should start there.  If you can negotiate, and help each other out this is the best solution for your child.

If you can’t get help from the other parent your next place to look for help is family and friends.  If you don’t take advantage, and are able to reciprocate on occasion, must family and friends would be willing to help out when possible.

If you don’t have friends or family for support you need to reach out to local churches and charities.  Many local churches have single parent ministries and can assist in a variety of ways.  Charities, such as food banks can help out when finances are low.

Reach out to your government.  There is assistance out there for single parents in need.  There are programs like WIC (Women, Infants, Children) that can help.  Search online for other programs in your state.

The bottom line is, you can’t wait for assistance to offer itself to you.  You need to seek out assistance, because it’s out there.  And there is no shame in asking for help when you really need it.

Communicate and Let your Child Communicate

Be mindful of the fact that you aren’t the only one going through loss in this situation, be it divorce or death. Your child is also going through a period of loss and you need to instigate and encourage communication about the situation.

Remember to reassure them that it’s all right to feel angry, scared or sad. If you need extra help, it’s perfectly acceptable to take your child to a child psychologist who can help them ease into the process of learning how to deal with emotions effectively.

Show them how much you love them, even when they are not acting perfectly. Let them know they are loved no matter what.