Ready to Start Dating Again?

Ready to Start Dating Again?

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As a single parent, you probably have very little free time, so dating must seem like an impossible task. Yet, single parents are dating in unprecedented numbers. So, if you are looking for adult companionship, you are very likely to find it. But just like everything in life; rules can protect us from potential harm.

Smart Single Parent Dating Rules

  • As a responsible parent, you will want to be very cautious about whom you date, and eventually bring home, for the safety and well-being of your children. You may feel guilty or unsure about whether dating is okay. But, of course it is .. as long as you do it responsibly, and your children are not disrupted by your dating life.
  • Single parent dating involves finding a quality person you like, who likes you and who is comfortable with your children. These extra dynamics can be frustrating, but should not be ignored or overlooked. Pressuring your children to like your date, and going too fast for them to get comfortable with the situation, will create unnecessary trouble.
  • Because today’s society is very mobile, it is easy for people who are not savory to hide their backgrounds. Getting to know people as friends before dating increases the safety of dating and meeting new people. To maximize safety, choose group activities, daytime activities with the children, and stay in public places until you establish your date’s character.
  • Meeting other single parents at a PTA meeting, church, school or sporting events are all great ways to begin. The public setting provides safety, a chance to get to know the other person and a chance to find out what others think of your date.

 

      • Meeting his or her children, or other family members, will quickly reveal their values and attitudes. When your children meet another parent, an adult friend, or a church or temple member rather than a date, it is much less threatening to them.
      • Children are not the only ones who need rules to follow. If the adults involved do the right thing automatically, they are following their own internal rules. But, if their behavior is not suitable for you and your children, then you need to inform them of your rules.

Setting and keeping rules may sound like a drag, but sensible and reasonable guidelines are helpful. When everyone knows what is expected of them, they will feel respected and secure.

Connie Britton on being a Single Parent

Connie Britton on being a Single Parent

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Connie Britton

Single Parent Love Life

Connie Britton loves being a mother, but she does admit that being a single parent can be particularly challenging when it comes to her love life.

The Emmy-nominated Friday Night Lights actress (who next stars in the primetime drama Nashville) confesses that she’s ready for love, but there’s no time to pursue romance.

“I have no sex life right now,” Britton, 45, revealed during Lifetime’s The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet on Thursday. “I keep thinking about how I could do it, how I could pull it off.”

In November 2011, Britton adopted an Ethiopian baby boy, Yoby, after waiting three years for a referral. Now that she’s adjusted to life as a mother, Britton jokes that she’s ready to get it on. “I’m just talking about how I get laid while I have a baby,” Britton laughed.

Britton is only half-joking because she said she’s “in great shape to meet a man” but doesn’t “have time” to juggle dating and working with taking care of little Yoby. “When I go home, I have my little guy.”

Starting a Family as a Single Parent

The decision to start a family without a partner was difficult, but ultimately worth it, Britton explains.

“There was a lot of grief about having not started this journey with the man who was going to be my partner. I anticipate finishing it with a man who’s going to be my partner,” Britton said. “I definitely had to grieve that, but I also didn’t want to wait anymore. I absolutely know that this was something that I want for my life, and I’m really fortunate… and I feel like I can do it.”

Financial Planning for the Single Parent

Financial Planning for the Single Parent

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As a single parent it’s even more important than ever to have a short term and long term financial plan.  At About.com they have an article that covers some of the financial planning that you need to think about for you and your child.  The article covers:

  • Creating a Budget
  • Getting Child Support
  • Finding Additional Help
  • Setting up an Emergency Fund
  • Life Insurance
  • Education Funding

While the article doesn’t go into a great amount of detail, if you are just starting to think about financial planning it’s a good place to start.  Many single parents don’t even think about financial planning until they are hit with a crisis; and that’s the worst time to start.

You can read the entire article by clicking on Finances for a Single Parent.

Single Parent Struggles

Single Parent Struggles

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Interesting article about single parent struggles.

Single parent struggles…how is that defined exactly? Is the problem worse in San Diego than other cities? The San Diego Union Tribune recently ran a story with Nathan Fletcher who is running for San Diego Mayor. He touched a little bit on kids in San Diego, “…There’s no guarantee that you get an equally easy path. So if both of your parents went to college, it’s easier for you than a kid that has a single mom who struggles financially, who’s in a poor community.” Mr. Fletcher went on to talk about everyone having access to the “American Dream” but do children of single parents truly have that access and what kinds of struggles do single parents have?

 

Single Parents Have Questions

Single Parents Have Questions

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As I search the internet for things to help single parents with their desire to be the best parents they can be, I come across many questions posted by single parents.

As I come across questions that single parents are asking, I will post them in a new category called Single Parent Questions.  My hope is that you will be able to find answers to some of your single parent questions.  If not, leave a question in the comments and we’ll try to find some answers for you.

Just as a Note:  The answers to many of the questions do not necessarily reflect my own oppinion on the suject matter.

Single Parent Fed up with Indulgent Grandma

Single Parent Fed up with Indulgent Grandma

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From  The Boston Globe

Q. I am 26 and a single parent to a 3-year-old girl. I love my daughter more than anything. However, in the past few months, she has become a brat, doing everything she can to test me.

Due to recent financial problems, we had to move in with my mother until I can finish my degree and get a job. No matter what discipline I use, nothing works because my mother undermines me. There is no consistency in what is right or wrong. My mother always gives in to her every request.

Once in a while, I will spank my daughter. My mother, however, cornered me and gave me a lecture on how awful I am for spanking my child. Yet I can clearly recall being spanked by my mother when I was little.

Mom questions my parenting in front of my daughter. I am grateful that she opened her home to us, but I can’t be an effective parent when she constantly undercuts my authority. How can I get her to keep her child-rearing opinions to herself?

TEXAS

A. While we agree with your mother that discipline does not require spanking, we also understand how difficult it is to raise a child when an indulgent grandparent rules the roost. First, have a sit-down discussion with Mom when your daughter is asleep. Get her to acknowledge that a lack of discipline is not healthy for her grandchild. Compromise by agreeing to use different forms of discipline other than spanking. Create rules you can both abide by. If that doesn’t work, bring Mom to your next pediatrician appointment, and ask the doctor to speak to her. And find other living arrangements as soon as possible.