Single Parent Wealth

Advantages to Being a Single Parent

04/21/2021 Hope Comments 0 Comment

We often hear about the struggles and disadvantages of being a single parent. I’m here to tell you that as a single parent there can be many advantages as well. Let me know if you agree.

You Make all the Parenting Rules
No More Petty Arguments
More Time with Your Kids
You Make All of the Financial Decisions
Your Kids Learn More Independence and being a Team Player
You Don’t Have to Split Your Attention

Single Parents Get to Make all the Parenting Rules

For many single parents this can be a big advantage. In many two parent households the parents disagree on rules for their kids. If that’s the case, you’ll probably find that as a single parent there’s much less stress regarding parenting styles. Setting rules for your child in your home becomes much easier.

If the other parent is still in the picture and has every other weekend and mid-week time with your child, you still may be discussing rules, etc. But at least in your home, you decide what’s best.

Single Parents Enjoy Having an Argument Free Home

If you find yourself as a single parent because of divorce, there was probably arguing, bickering, and negativity in your household before you and your partner split. Maybe the negativity was there for a long time and you just worked around it. If that was your situation you will definitely feel the difference when all of that conflict is no longer in your house.

Of course kids tend to argue with their parents from time to time, but it’s not the same. Anyone who has lived with a partner who was constantly arguing with you about something knows how soul crushing it can be. It can completely suck the life out of you. When your kids argue with you, for the most part it’s a teaching moment. And since you made the house rules you can enforce them.

Single Parents Get to Spend More Time with Their Kids

On the one hand it seems exhausting to be a single parent and have to be the one getting the kids up and ready for school; helping with homework; shuttling to afterschool activities; etc. But think of all of the extra time you have because you now don’t have a partner who is also requiring your time.

I can’t tell you how many times I spent watching a movie or Amazon Prime series that I had NO INTEREST in just to appease my partner. And in their mind that was ‘doing something together’. I also can’t tell you how much of my time was spent having ‘debates’ with my partner that would go on forever if I didn’t just agree.

Until I became a single parent I didn’t fully understand how much time and energy was going to my partner and not to my child.

Single Parents Get More Sleep

Being in a two parent household is great if you are both fundamentally on the same page; and you both put the others’ needs before your own. Sadly this isn’t the case most of the time (based on divorce statistics). But until you become a single parent you don’t realize how having a partner who is not in sync with you messes up your sleep patterns as well.

You may be someone who craves the contact that a partner provides, especially when you sleep. Trust me, finding the right dog to add to your family will do wonders for you. You will sleep better at night; and your new canine family member will give you the unconditional love you need until you are truly ready to find another partner.

Single Parents Manage the Finances Without Interference

There are generally three different money management styles when it comes to family finances.

First, all income is put into a joint account; bills are paid, and personal expenditures are negotiated. For example, if one partner really wants a special set of golf clubs, or an expensive new handbag it’s discussed and agreed upon. This style seems to be the least popular in our current generation. This style can work if both partners are involved in the household finances. But this style is a potential disaster if only one partner oversees all the financial matters.

Second, all income stays separate and partners decide which bills will be paid by each partner. They may split bills down the middle like electric, or WIFI. Then the remainder of ‘their’ money is ‘theirs’ to do whatever they want. This style seems to be most popular in our current generation, but it’s also the style that doesn’t support a lifelong partnership.

Third, this is more of a partnership way of handling finances. Most of a partners income goes into a joint account and a portion of income is kept in a personal account for any personal things they may wish to purchase. This way the bulk of the income can be jointly managed and allotted to expenses, investments, vacations, etc. This is generally the healthiest way to jointly manage household finances.

We’ve come a long way, but still in general men out-earn women. And in general men tend to oversee the family finances. If you have been in an unbalanced financial situation with your partner; becoming a single parent and having sole control of the household finances will be a huge advantage for you.

Money may be tight for you as a single parent, but knowing exactly what’s coming in and where exactly it’s going out is a very satisfying thing if you were kept in the dark previously.

Your Child Will Be a More Independent Team Player

As a single parent it’s necessary to teach your child how to be more independent. Even though you may still want to do everything for your child you don’t have that luxury at crucial times during the day. You may be able to spend more time with your child in the evening but when you both have to be ready to go in the morning, teaching your child to get ready by themselves is crucial. They become more confident in their independence.

You child will also feel more like a team player when you give them opportunities to help around the house or help with the prep work of making dinner.

Single Parents don’t Have to Split Their Attention

In a two parent household there is often a battle as to who will get your attention. Typically it used to be the couple of hours in the evening when everyone was getting home from jobs, school, after school activities. In the last year this battle may go on all day if both partners are working at home and the kids are doing school from home.

Feeling like you’re being pulled in more than one direction can be very draining. But as a single parent half of that guilt goes away. Sure, you may not feel like you’re doing enough for your child. But you’re doing twice as much as you would when your home had a partner who was demanding more of your time than they were pouring back into you.

I know that being a single parent can be difficult, but just remember that there are also advantages to being a single parent. And if you focus on the positives, things will go much smoother for you and your child.

Be the Best Single Parent You Can Be

04/19/2021 Donna Comments 0 Comment

Learn to Manage Your Money Effectively

Single parents often have added financial stress, so you will need some pretty good money management skills.

If you need some help learning better money management, search Google or YouTube for money management and budgeting sites. Some popular sites are Mint , Dave Ramsey , The Penny Hoarder .

Before you can manage your money effectively, you need to know where you stand regarding debt. Many people avoid this because they’re afraid to know the truth. But you need to face how much debt you may have, and come up with a plan to pay down your debt.

Stop paying for things that you don’t use or need. No one needs expensive cable bills. If you’re not using it you don’t need that gym membership. You can workout at home or at the park. Call your utility companies and see if you can negotiate lower rates.

Put your family on a budget. Yes, involve your kids. Teach them good money management habits now and they will thank you for years to come.

Don’t Speak Badly About the Other Parent

Regardless of how badly your relationship may have ended, it is never wise to bad-mouth your ex in front of your child. The best thing that you can do for your child is to let them love both of their parents without guilt.

If you have children who are a little older, be careful to not get caught up in little manipulations from your very own darlings kids. It is very common for children to pit one parent against the other if it serves their purposes. If you find your child trying to manipulate you in this way, stay very neutral regarding the other parent. Then communicate with the other parent.

Your child’s other parent may have lied to you, cheated on you, etc. You definitely need to heal from that. Deal with your emotions by confiding in a friend and/or seeing a therapist. But do not discuss any of your problems with your child. Things are never black and white. You aren’t all good and the other parent all evil. It is not good for your child’s mental health.

If you speak badly about your child’s other parent you may lose custody of your child. Parental Alienation is a real thing, and it is very damaging to a child. If a judge determines that you’re speaking negatively to the point where you’re harming your child’s relationship with the other parent, the judge has the authority to take your custodial rights away from you. It’s that serious.

Ask for Help

There is no shame in asking for help; it doesn’t denote failure or that you aren’t worthy as a parent. In fact, asking for assistance whether it’s as simple as fetching your child from school or if it’s a bit trickier, like dealing with puberty, makes you a better parent.

If you have an amicable relationship with your child’s other parent you should start there. If you can negotiate, and help each other out this is the best solution for your child.

If you can’t get help from the other parent your next place to look for help is family and friends. If you don’t take advantage, and are able to reciprocate on occasion, must family and friends would be willing to help out when possible.

If you don’t have friends or family for support you need to reach out to local churches and charities. Many local churches have single parent ministries and can assist in a variety of ways. Charities, such as food banks can help out when finances are low.

Reach out to your government. There is assistance out there for single parents in need. There are programs like WIC (Women, Infants, Children) that can help. Search online for other programs in your state.

The bottom line is, you can’t wait for assistance to offer itself to you. You need to seek out assistance, because it’s out there. And there is no shame in asking for help when you really need it.

Communicate and Let your Child Communicate

Be mindful of the fact that you aren’t the only one going through loss in this situation, be it divorce or death. Your child is also going through a period of loss and you need to instigate and encourage communication about the situation.

Remember to reassure them that it’s all right to feel angry, scared or sad. If you need extra help, it’s perfectly acceptable to take your child to a child psychologist who can help them ease into the process of learning how to deal with emotions effectively.

Show them how much you love them, even when they are not acting perfectly. Let them know they are loved no matter what.

Single Parents: Do You Have the Life Insurance You Need?

03/21/2021 Donna Comments 0 Comment

The Importance of Planning Ahead

As a single parent, you’re probably used to getting things done by yourself and provide for your family as best as you can. But what if something were to happen to you? Who will provide for your kids? In addition to having a Will, you should really have life insurance to be sure that your children will be financially provided for in your absence.

Life insurance is especially important for single parents, particularly if there is no back-up breadwinner for your children to rely on. The good news is you can usually get affordable life insurance through your employer if you have a full-time job. If you don’t have that option you will need to do some research and find an insurance provider that works for you. Take the time to scout out life insurance quotes on term life insurance, whole life insurance or a mix of both, if you haven’t already.

How Much Life Insurance should a Single Parent Have?

The amount of insurance you should buy is generally equal six to eight times your annual salary. There are a few factors that would determine how much you would have to pay for life insurance. Some factors are your age, and whether you have any pre-existing conditions. You also want to decide whether you want term life insurance or whole life insurance. And you definitely want to shop around for the best prices. Find a policy that works within your budget. You should be able to find a policy whose monthly payments are manageable.

Are there Other Sources of Income I Could Pass to my Children?

As you consider purchasing single parent single parent life insurance to protect your children’s future, look into other potential sources of income that can be passed on to your children. This could include retirement plans, other savings and Social Security. Doing these things could provide you with peace of mind should something unfortunate happen.

If you pass away before your kids are 19, they may be eligible to receive your Social Security benefit. Disabled children and elderly parents who depend on you for at least half their income may also receive “survivor benefits.” Questions on how much you can expect to receive on your Social Security benefit can be answered by visiting the Social Security Administration’s website.

Make a Plan for Your Children’s Future

Financial planning can be a difficult exercise for most people to wrap their minds around, but for the single parent it’s important to consider. It might be a good idea to visit with a financial planner if you aren’t confident about what type of savings plan you should have in place for your children. But as you have been able to provide for your children on your own in the past, protecting their future is just one more thing you can do as a strong single parent.

Happy Single Parents Day!

03/21/2021 Hope Comments 0 Comment

Unlike Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, it is time set aside to honor those parents who individually strive to create a supportive, loving and secure environment for their children.

On March 21st, National Single Parents Day honors the mothers and fathers holding down the fort with all the hard work, devotion, and sacrifices involved in single parenting. Raising children can be challenging. Doing it without a partner doubles the burden. Whether by choice or circumstance, single parents carry a heavy load. Between work, school, daycare, doctor visits, and the list goes on, one person can only do so much.

Have a Good Single Parent Plan

03/20/2021 Donna Comments 0 Comment

Becoming a Single Mom or Dad

You may not have started with the plan of being a single mom, but the statistics don’t lie. Becoming a single parent is inevitable for many parents.

Ideally, raising a child involves a full time mother and father, since each bring different strengths and therefore a broader way of attending to the different needs of the child. But when it is no longer possible to keep the nuclear family intact, then it’s better to become a single parent than to sacrifice your emotional and/or physical health; and that of your child’s as well.

If you’re thinking about separating from your child’s other parent, now is the time to start planning for life as a single parent. Making such monumental decisions without a plan can be a disaster. Planning for your future as a single parent helps to ensure that your child will grow up to be an independent and responsible human being despite having only one full time parent.

Where to start

Make a commitment to be an effective single parent. Realize up front that there will be pressures with work and financial responsibilities that will seem overwhelming at the time. However, outside pressure is not an excuse to water down your commitment to raising your child in the healthiest, most loving way possible.

Make your Emotional Needs a High Priority

Experts agree, the best single parents are the ones who make their own emotional needs a high priority. This means maintaining a life that doesn’t completely revolve around your child and being a single mom or dad. Children thrive in an environment where they feel safe, loved, and cared for. If you haven’t taken responsibility and dealt with your own issues, you’ll be stuck in victim mode. To develop a healthy way of relating to the world, your Children need the strength and guidance that only a healthy parent can give them. Since there is a need for you to be strong and healthy for your child, dealing with your own issues first is a must. You don’t necessarily need to go to counseling, but it could definitely help. Be sure that you have a group of friends or family to provide emotional support so that you don’t lean on your child for support. Also know that many parents have been right where you are, and they’ve adjusted to their new life just fine. And in time you will too.

Find your Inner Motivation

It is a must for single parents to find a way to motivate themselves to keep moving forward. Some days will be tougher than others. Finding your reason for getting up when you don’t want to; or plowing through a difficult situation will make all the difference. Many adults become responsible single parents because they have motivated themselves to look for positive things that the situations brought them. Successful, effective single parenting typically follows once the single mom or dad is able to find his or her source of motivation in achieving goals that they’ve set not only for themselves but for the children as well.

Assess your Strengths and Weaknesses

For you to become an effective single parent, you really want to undergo lots of reflection and self-assessment to know what are your strengths and your weaknesses. If you know your strengths as a parent, your child will see that in you and they will believe that you can take care of them even if you are the only parent. It’s also important to address your weaknesses so you know areas in parenting that you should improve on. By know your own weaknesses as a parent, you can turn these into opportunities that will make single parenting more successful for you and for your child.

Choose to be a Single Parent Success

You may not have chosen this journey for yourself and your child, but here you are. And you can choose to be a great success at being a single parent. Just set your mind to it and let nothing stop you from being the best single mom or dad. Many single parents have gone down this path before you and succeeded in raising wonderfully adjusted kids. Set you mind in the right place and let nothing stop you, and you too will be a very successful single parent.

Single Parent Dating Advice

03/18/2021 Donna Comments 0 Comment

How Hard Can it Be?

Is it hard dating as a single parent?

Although dating at any age can be a challenge, often times it is more challenging for a single parent to get out there and meet new people. But dating as a single parent doesn’t have to be as difficult as it sounds. There are many small things that can be done to help you, as a single parent meet singles and maybe begin a relationship.

Don’t Become a Hermit

How do single moms get time to date?

Dating can be difficult for both the single parent and the child, but there are a few things to keep in mind when beginning dating. First and foremost, make time to take care of yourself. Make taking care of yourself a top priority. People who take the time to properly care for themselves show that they also have the ability to take care of another person in a relationship. It is always easier to take care of someone else, after you have taken care of yourself.

Another thing to keep in mind is to make an attempt to get out of the house regularly and create a wider circle of friends. Get some exercise by walking around your neighborhood daily. You will start seeing the same people, and can develop new friends who are also your neighbors. And maybe you will also meet other single parents that you can potentially swap babysitting duties with. Also, by allowing the kids some time with friends or family, moms can free up an evening (or late afternoon) for a date. Getting out of the house increases your chances of meeting new people who could potentially be a great person to go on a date with. By getting out of the house you will also train your children to be fine with you not being the only person who can care for them. Many single parents want to get out more but feel guilty about leaving their children with someone else. Don’t fall into that trap. It can be as unhealthy for the children as it is for you.

Try an Online Dating Site

What is the best dating site for single parents?

While some people have an aversion to online dating apps (and prefer church/neighborhood groups or friend referrals to find potential dates), many more people turn to online dating to meet people.

For single parents online dating apps can make it easier to find people who share similar interests. By meeting people at an online dating site, it allows you to narrow down the qualities that you find attractive in people from the comfort of your home. The most important thing to keep in mind is to be honest with your online dating profile. Your qualities will bring enough people to your profile; there isn’t a need to exaggerate them. Being yourself is always the best approach. Another thing to keep in mind when creating your profile is the profile picture. Always make sure to include two or three photos to prove that you are who you say that you are. It is also important to make sure that it is a clear high quality photo as many people may skip over blurry photos.

So what is the best dating site for single parents? Well, the best site all depends on what you’re looking for. If you want to get back into a serious relationship you might want to stick to the older/established sites like eharmony or match.com. If you’re looking for something else; maybe just flirtatious chit chat after the little ones go to bed, you might want to try other sites. It really depends on what you’re looking for and how much you want to spend if you decide on a paid dating site.

A word of caution. When dating online be very careful about giving out any private information; or any information about your children. While there are up front people (just like yourself) online; there are also those that are not what they seem. At the very least do an online search on a potential date before you agree to meet up.

Take it Slow

Taking dating slow is the way to go. If someone you just met (online or otherwise) seems too good to be true; or is rushing things in the relationship slow things down because this is a potential red flag. As a single mom recognize that you might be vulnerable and an easier target for someone to take advantage of you. If you start dating someone who you think is so perfect for you, then they will understand that the healthy thing to do is to take the relationship slow. Letting new relationships progress at a slower pace will also help your children get used to this new person in your life before they have to accept him in their lives.

Don’t Get Discouraged

In this day and age it seems it’s getting harder and harder to meet quality people to date. And there are added health issues with meeting up with new people. Don’t be discouraged though. Take time to work on yourself and the relationships that you do have. And lean into your faith. The more content you are with yourself, the more attractive you will be to others.