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Here you will find single parent support articles, and advice on how to find support as a single parent.

College for Single Parents

College for Single Parents

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Attending school as a single parent can be difficult. Juggling schoolwork along with parental duties without any additional support may lead to students leaving college without completing their degrees. If you are a young single parent with small children, be aware that many schools recognize this problem and may provide you additional help.

  • Saint Paul’s CollegeLocated in Lawrenceville, Va., Saint Paul’s College is a private Christian educational institution which emphasizes objectivity, integrity, scholarship, resourcefulness and responsible citizenship. Saint Paul’s College also offers the Single Parent Support System, or SPSS, for qualifying single parents. Designed for single parents with two or fewer children between the ages of two months and nine years, SPSS is an educational program for on-campus residential students, which provides faculty mentoring, tutoring and counseling services, educational seminars and childcare. To qualify, students must attend school on a year-round and full-time basis, have a projected graduation date of three to four years and maintain a 2.5 GPA each year.
  • Baldwin-Wallace College Baldwin-Wallace College, located in Berea, Ohio, is a private, Methodist-related, liberal arts college which provides students with learning and career preparation. Baldwin-Wallace College also offers SPROUT, or the Single Parents Reaching Out For Unassisted Tomorrows. SPROUT is a comprehensive program for residential single parents between the ages of 18 and 23. There are several components to the SPROUT program including housing, childcare, personal development, academic concerns and financial aid, all designed to break the cycle of single parents dropping out of college due to difficulty of pursuing an education while being single parents. For more information click here.
  • Endicott College Founded in 1939 for the purpose of educating women for enhanced positions in the workplace, Endicott College, located in Beverly, Mass., is a progressive institution with a mission of instilling an understanding and appreciation for liberal and professional studies in students. The Keys to Degrees: Educating Two Generations Together program provides single parents between the ages of 18 and 24 with the opportunity to pursue a baccalaureate degree in a supportive environment. Students enrolled in the program benefit with full support services, such as childcare and campus housing. For more information click here.
  • Wilson College located in Chambersburg, Pa., is an independent college with a commitment to encourage student growth, human stewardship and ethical leadership. Designed for single mothers with children older than 20 months, the Women With Children Program at Wilson College offers students an education and the opportunity for a self-sufficient life. Students enrolled in the program receive year-round on-campus residential housing and other services such as child care, academic support and counseling. For more information click here.
How to Give Support to a Single Parent

How to Give Support to a Single Parent

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Some Facts About Single Parents

Single parents can be divorced or never-married mothers or fathers raising children on their own.

Children who live with a single parent tend to have more financial challenges than children raised by both parents. According to the National Poverty Center, almost 21 percent of children in the United States lived in poverty during 2009. Almost 30 percent of those children lived in a home headed by a single mother. And almost 17 percent lived with a single father. Whether or not being a single parent is something the parent planned or expected, it can be an emotionally draining situation to deal with. Supporting a single parent, even in small ways, might just avert a financial or emotional crises.

If you know a single parent and would like to help, here are some things that you can do to assist them.

  • Ask what the single parent needs or wants rather than assuming what type of assistance she needs. Many single parents have a routine that works well for them. Asking a single parent what you can do to support her demonstrates caring and understanding, and it allows the parent to guide you in the direction that will best help her and her child.
  • Offer to listen to a single parent who is recently divorced or dealing with the death of a spouse. He may need someone to talk to and to help out, since death or divorce made him a single parent unexpectedly.
  • Invite the single parent and child to community functions, birthday parties and play dates. Single parents may feel isolated or worn out doing everything alone, so having people who are willing to be there for him is important and uplifting.
  • Offer your babysitting services so the single parent can have a night out with friends, or a night in to recoup and relax.
  • Set up a weekly standing date to meet up for coffee, drinks or dinner. Although the single parent may not need this every week, it can be helpful knowing she can vent her frustrations, share her or her child’s accomplishments, or connect with other parents on a regular basis.
  • Provide or offer resources to a single parent in the form of information. This is helpful and demonstrates your willingness to support her in times of need. Benefits.gov and the Office of Family Assistance that is part of the Administration of Children and Families are two websites with an abundance of information on assistance programs and parent resources. Single parents generally have limited financial resources, especially mothers after a divorce, according the Census Bureau’s 2003 report, so these could be especially helpful.
Single Parent Dad: Paging Mr. Mom

Single Parent Dad: Paging Mr. Mom

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I thought this article over at the Huffington Post was very informative. Enjoy.

Being a divorced parent means being a single parent. One of the most
fundamental reasons for the breakdown of a marriage is loss of empathy
for a spouse. It can therefore come as quite a shock to newly single
dads as to just how difficult it can be to raise kids on your own. Not
every guy can slip effortlessly into his new-found responsibilities.
Even worse — we’re scared to ask for help (probably for the same reason
we refuse to ask for directions when we’re driving despite being
hopelessly lost). In no particular order, here are some general tips
around the whole experience that I’ve found useful. As always, when it
comes to being a parent there are no rules except for giving love and
following your instincts as every relationship, every kid, and every
parent are unique.

To read the entire article click here.

Parenting Advice – Are You a Parent?

Parenting Advice – Are You a Parent?

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Parent or Buddy?

We’ve all seen the parent who isn’t really the parent at all. There’s the ‘buddy’ parent who is joined at the hip with their child and doesn’t make a decision without consulting the child. Or the parent who has reversed roles completely with their kid and has made the child the responsible one. When your children are too young to make responsible decisions about much of their lives, is it healthy to live like roommates, or worse, as if you’re the child? Overwhelming research says no. It’s not healthy for the kids or the single parent, yet so many single parents do this very thing. So how do you transition from being a roommate with your kids to being the ‘head of the household’; the lone parent in charge? The first step is to be honest with yourself, recognize unhealthy parenting, and acknowledge that it needs fixing.

When reality hits and a single parent realizes that they are ‘it’; they are the parent in charge and need to take the lead, most of them panic. And while denial and regression are parts of the grieving process, staying stuck there is a disaster for the single parent and their children. The following is a parenting trap that many single parents fall into. If you find yourself relating to this ‘parenting style’ take a long honest look at yourself and ask; ‘do I really want to teach my kids how to be a victim and refuse to take responsibility, or do I want to teach them that taking responsibility for your circumstances leads to growth and a joyful life.’

The Promissory Note

Life does not hold any promises. Everyone knows that, right? Some single parents tend to replay society’s promises over and over. ‘If I do the right thing, look the right way, say the right things, the right mate will come along and we will live happily ever after. I followed the rules but they lied; they owe me!’

If you’re a single parent stuck in the ‘Promissory Note’ lie then you probably married young, gave up pursuing a career, and threw yourself into being a full time wife. That is until the kids came. And then your husband left you for another woman. He lied! He owes me! How dare he say that I stopped paying attention to him after the kids were born. I’m focusing on the kids for both of us. How dare he say that I never make an effort to look attractive anymore. Doesn’t he appreciate my efforts to be ‘super-mom’.

If you’re a single dad you probably married young, pursued your career, and threw yourself into being a full time husband/provider. That is until the kids came and being a provider became more important than being a husband. And then your wife leaves you. She lied! She owes me! How dare she say you’re never around and don’t know your own family anymore. Doesn’t she know that I was working long hours for them. How dare she say that I never make an effort to show you her I’m still attracted to her. Doesn’t she appreciate my efforts to be a great provider.

Parents with the Promissory Note mentality have a hard time letting go of how ‘unfair’ it all is. They refuse to take on the added responsibility of being a single parent (nurturer and provider). Instead they live as if their ex is still responsible for living up to their portion of ‘The promissory Note’, never wanting to acknowledge that the ex-spouse may also have a Promissory Note of their own, that was not lived up to by you. If you are stuck in the Promissory Note mentality you become the perpetual victim; forever focused on how you were ‘wronged’ so that you never have to work on your own short comings. This is an ineffective and unhealthy place to parent from.

The World is Unfair

If you are bitter because your spouse left you and ‘that’s unfair’, I have news for you: The world is not fair. But you already knew that. You didn’t just find this out when your marriage ended. You knew that life was not fair a long time ago. Maybe it was when your beloved pet died. Or when you realized that your best friend since kindergarten dumped you in middle school because your family wasn’t as ‘well off’ as theirs. We know the world is unfair, so why wallow in self-pity? Does it feel good? Well then ask yourself this: When was the last time you enjoyed being around someone who felt sorry for themselves and constantly reminded you that they were a poor helpless victim in a cruel world. You don’t want to be that bitter person, and you surely don’t want to raise your kids to be like that, do you? Everyone has past bad experiences; that’s part of life. Whether you choose to be a victim or a victor is your choice, and yours alone.

So, you can raise your kids as a parent who is the permanent victim of an unfair event that can never be recovered from. Or you can raise you children as a parent who has had many life experiences; one of which happened to be a divorce. I think the healthy choice is clear.