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The Rise of the Single Father

The Rise of the Single Father

Single Father Households are on the Rise

Single father households are becoming more and more common in the United States. Single Father households have risen from a little over 1% in 1960, to a record 8%  according to a report from the Pew Research Center.  That is about a nine-fold increase in the number of single father households in a little over 50 years.

Single father headed households have gone from less than 300,000 to more than 2.6 million in 2011.  While single mother lead households have increased from 1.9 million in 1960 to 8.6 million in 2011; that rate of increase is only four-fold during that period.  What this means is that single father households make up a larger (and growing) share of all single parent households in the United States.  Single parent households headed by fathers have gone from 14% in 1960, to 24%.  That’s almost a quarter of all single parent households.

How Single Father Lead Households are Different

According to this Report there are some notable statistical differences between single mother homes and single father homes.  For instance 41% of single fathers are living with a partner.  While only 16% of single mothers are cohabitating.  On average single fathers tend to have higher incomes than single mothers.  This translates to 24% of single father households living at or below the poverty line versus 43% of households lead by single mothers.



What is a Single Father?

The definition of a single father household can vary depending on who is doing the defining.  In this report, a single father is a male who is 15 years of age or older, who is the head of their household.  They are also living with their own children (under the age of 18).  The term ‘their own children’ can mean biological children, step-children or adopted children.

Fathers who are living in a household headed by someone else (for example, a young single father living with his parents) are excluded from the analysis.  Also excluded are single fathers whose children are not living with them.

The term ‘single father’ includes men in a variety of family circumstances. About half (52%) are separated, divorced, widowed, or never married and are living without a cohabiting partner.  As stated above, 41% are living with a non-marital partner.  And a small percentage (7%) are married but living apart from their spouse.

It’s interesting to note that, statistically speaking, cohabiting single fathers are particularly disadvantaged on most socio-economic indicators. They are younger, less educated and more likely to be living in poverty than are single fathers who are raising children without a spouse or partner in the household.

Why the Increase in Single Father Households?

The increase in single father households is likely due to a number of factors, most of which have also contributed to the increase in single mother households, and to the decline of two-married-parent households.

For one, non-marital births has increased significantly.  And even though divorce rates have leveled off in recent decades, they remain higher than they were in the 1960s and 1970s.  Some experts suggest that changes in the legal system have led to more opportunities for fathers to gain custody of their children in the event of a breakup, as well.

Also, the role of fathers has evolved over the years.  The public now acknowledges the importance of fathers not only as breadwinners, but also as caregivers. Some data shows that fathers are narrowing the (still sizable) gap with mothers, in the amount of time they spend with their children. And Pew Research surveys find that the public believes that a father’s greatest role is to provide values to his children, followed by emotional support, discipline and income support. Public opinion ascribes roughly the same hierarchy of roles to mothers.

Study Sheds Light on Single Parent Stress

Study Sheds Light on Single Parent Stress

Self-esteem plays a key part in a single mother’s happiness, but makes little difference to the life satisfaction of single fathers, new research shows.

Research by an academic at Western Australia’s Edith Cowan University, Bronwyn Harman, into the life satisfaction of different family formations, showed that single parents believed they were still viewed negatively by society, even though they accounted for 17 per cent of families in Australia.

Dr Harman interviewed scores of single parents, and then rated their life satisfaction based on their resilience, self-esteem and social support. She found that while all three factors contributed to the happiness of single mothers, self-esteem ”had no impact” on the life satisfaction of single fathers.

”Single mothers can have lots of social support, but unless they have that internal self-belief, they don’t believe what they’re being told,” Dr Harman said.

”With dads, they just believe what they’re told – ‘you’re doing a good job’.” Dr Harman found little difference in the ”relatively low level” of life satisfaction among both single fathers and single mothers. ”When you combine the negative stereotypes with the day-to-day struggle of being a single parent, it would generally not be a very happy place to be,” she said.

All single parents said they were stigmatized by society. ”Single mothers said partnered mothers were threatened by them, viewing them as potential husband stealers,” Dr Harman said.

”Single fathers said society viewed them as a ‘failure’, ‘with suspicion’, and ‘rejected’. There is an incorrect but pervasive view that only mothers know how to parent.”

Single dads told of spending tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees for access to their child, being regularly excluded from special occasions involving their child, and being cut out of the communication loop by their child’s school.

Single mothers reported finding daily life a struggle, with no one to share the burden of illness and tiredness, or their parenting successes.

Dr Harman said a lack of social support for single parents contributed to their low levels of life satisfaction.

”Being a parent with a partner is hard enough,” she said. ”You can’t imagine what it would be like juggling and struggling all by yourself with no one to fall back on.” Justine Proctor became a single mother five years ago when her husband – from whom she was separated – died.

”There are not a lot of good things about being a single parent,” she said.

Now her son, Luke Harford, is on the cusp of adolescence, Ms Proctor feels keenly the lack of a partner. ”My son is just at the age where he does need a father figure around, a good male role model,” she said.

Ms Proctor said her ”saving grace” was the Single with Children support group.

She said the best thing about her family set-up was her bond with Luke. ”I’m hoping the bond is going to last through the teenage years,” she said.

RHONY’s Kelly Bensimon: Single Parenting is Not Easy

RHONY’s Kelly Bensimon: Single Parenting is Not Easy

kellybensimon
Real Housewives of New York City‘s Kelly Bensimon is a single mother, and according to Kelly, it’s not easy.  Here’s what she had to say about single parenting:

“I am a single parent and it’s not easy. For anyone who is a single parent, it is nothing to be flippant about. It is really, really difficult. I have to work as well, and it’s something that I’ve always done. I’ve always worked and I’ve always been a single parent. This is my life and it’s how I am trying to raise my kids. I want them to have really great values. I don’t want to be that parent that’s like, “I work so much that I kind of spoil them.” I am trying to give my kids those Midwestern values that I find very important.”

The Real Housewives of New York alum recently hosted the launch of Original Scent, the new luxury scent bar in Pasadena. The reality TV star, 44, raves about the new “boutique where you can make your own personal fragrance.”

Kelly opens up to Celebrity Baby Scoop about her daughters – Sea, 14, and Thadeus, 12 – who are her “greatest luxury.” She goes on to talk about the difficulties of single motherhood and her greatest regret from appearing on RHONY, saying the show did not accurately portray her life.

You can read the entire article at Celebrity Baby Scoop.

POSP – Better Opportunities for Single Parents

POSP – Better Opportunities for Single Parents

This from the Fort Bliss Monitor

Single parents attend the Better Opportunities for Single Parents monthly meeting March 12 at the Combat Aviation Brigade Dining Facility. Photo by Sgt. Ida Irby, 24th Press Camp Headquarters.
Single parents attend the Better Opportunities for Single Parents monthly meeting March 12 at the Combat Aviation Brigade Dining Facility. Photo by Sgt. Ida Irby, 24th Press Camp Headquarters.

Sgt. Ida Irby, 24th Press Camp Headquarters:

Better Opportunities for Single Parents is a fresh organization created to give a voice to single parents in the Army. The Fort Bliss BOSP group hopes to also reach out to DoD civilians, National Guard, reservists, retirees, and veterans of all branches who are in a single-parent situation due to temporary duty, overseas deployment or separate duty stations.

Since November 2011, the BOSP program is growing daily as a result of up-to-date commander’s briefings, newcomers briefings and family readiness group trainings.

“Bring your voice, your issues and your concerns,” said Sgt. Richard Carreon, vice president of the BOSP. “‘Total Army Family’ sums up what it takes for single parents to be successful. Without the chain of command, chain of concern, FRG, family care plans and the arsenal of Army programs; it would be virtually impossible to raise a child as a single or dual military parent.”

Why It’s Better to Be a Single Parent

Why It’s Better to Be a Single Parent

This article comes to us from Dishon & Block

Being a single parent is not an ideal situation. No matter how you spin it, almost everyone agrees that having two parents is better than one. However, being a single parent post-divorce or separation gets a worse rep than it deserves, and there are advantages to raising children alone.

Rather than trying to work with your ex to make parenting compromises, you’ll get to make your own decisions. Kerri Zane, single mother advisor, offers five reasons that being a single parent actually can be better:

1- No negotiations necessary. Parents trying to co-parent will continue to fight and deal with disagreeing views on how to raise their children. All the fighting and disagreeing can make both environments unhealthy for your child. As a single parent you can be the security blanket and the healthy, loving parent that your child needs.

You can read the entire article here.

Single Parent Picking Battles and Roles

Single Parent Picking Battles and Roles

I found this post at a blog called Spilled Milk.

Being a Single Parent Means Picking Your Battles…And Your Roles

One of the hardest parts of becoming a single mother, for me, is the desire to be everything for my child. I desperately want him to have the childhood I had… the baking cookies, the team sports, the music lessons. I don’t want him to have moments when he thinks “Man, I could do that if I only had my dad in town.” I want him to grow up happy and well-adjusted and to me, that seems to mean working over time to ensure that he misses out on positively ZERO experiences…

You can read the entire post at Spilled Milk.