Single Parent Wealth

5 Tips for Single Parents with Teenagers

05/01/2011 Donna Comments 0 Comment

Single parents and teenagers – these two words bring to mind the most challenging phases of life. I know because I was raised by a single parent, and not so long ago I was a teenager. I remember the life challenges my own mother encountered as a single parent. Here are 5 tips to help you navigate the ever changing challenges of being a single parent:

Remember you are still a family

Regardless of the circumstances your family is still a family – even if it does not have two parents. There are many single parent families that are emotionally healthy. It is a matter of choice, not luck. They choose to make their families emotionally healthy, fun and one that is filled with positive memories.

Parent Tip #1: Think about the ideals that you want your family to be known for, and write them down. Perhaps make a door hanger or craft that contains symbols of these ideals to remind you of them.

Talk with your teen about their feelings

As you may know, your teen may also be experiencing feelings of loss. Regardless of the age and circumstances, your child may have feelings of sadness or anger or just feeling different than their peers. Allow your son/daughter to talk to about how they are feeling. This will also help the relationship you have with them. If you are concerned about your teenager’s adjustment to the divorce, then I suggest you find a qualified professional counselor to help your teenager.

Parent Tip #2: Look for teachable moments. Those special times when you know your teen is really listening to you, and is engaged, and take advantage of it. Teachable moments are a rarity, so seize the moment. Fina a qualified professional counselor for your teenager to talk with to help adjust to the divorce.

Stay involved

As best you can, continue to be involved in their lives. Show them you are still committed to them despite your stresses. Consistency in your behavior will shout louder than your words.

Parent Tip #3: Attend school functions. Find those things you both have to do anyways throughout the week and do them together. Eat meals together. Go for a morning or evening walk together.

Teach responsibility

Teenagers are usually begging for parents to give them their independence. One of the best ways to teach responsibility is to give them chores to do around the home. Address chores not as something you are nagging them to do, but an opportunity for your teenager to show he/she is responsible to handle more independence.

Parent Tip #4: Start with small responsibilities and then work into more independence with greater responsibilities. For example, you may begin with teaching them to do their own laundry before letting them drive your vehicle.

Live within your means

Parents often incur a great deal of financial debt in order to “care” for their teenagers. They want them to have the right kind of clothes, have their own cars and other “necessities” the teenager says they “need.” This approach is lose-lose for everyone. Teenagers are not taught about proper spending, and the parents’ credit card bills stack up as does their financial stress.

Parent Tip #5: Educate your child on healthy spending habits. If they are of employment age, have them work to earn money to pay for their own “necessities.” Likewise, educate yourself on healthy spending habits.

Single parenting may not be the ideal parenting circumstances. However, it can be done right with children that are happy, confident, and achievers. Each parent can play an essential role in their children’s well being. How about you? Are you struggling being a single parent? Take the reigns of being a single parent to make a difference in the life of your teenager! Do it now before your teenager becomes a young adult.

Dating as a single parent

05/01/2011 Donna Comments 0 Comment

Dating is hard enough. When you throw kids into the mix, it gets even harder. When do you tell your date you have children? When do you introduce the kids and the date? When do you even find time to date? Well, here are a few suggestions from those in the know:

Revealing Your Parental Status

Whether or not you tell your date about your children and when you choose to tell them is a personal decision. Particularly if your children are small, this is something you should be upfront about. You wouldn’t want anyone you’re dating to think you were trying to hoodwink them or conceal something of vital importance in your life. A single person without children of may not be ready to get involved with a single parent, but a fellow single parent would likely be drawn to that person.

There are situations, however, when not being quite so upfront could prove to be of value. Not that you should ever lie or try to hide your parental situation, but if you can hold onto your cards for perhaps the first 2-3 dates, you may have a better chance with someone who may otherwise have made a decision not to date you based solely on the fact that you have children. If they have time to get to know you and recognize that they like you for you, they may end up feeling more willing to make a go of things once you do reveal your parental status. Tread very carefully in this situation, however. We should all be given ample opportunity to decide for ourselves what we want. If the person you’re dating gets the impression you lied to them, they may decide they don’t like you all that much after all.

Introducing Kids and Dates

As a general rule, the decision of when to introduce your kids to your date will probably depend more on your child’s age than anything else. A child of a reasonable age, say 16 and up is probably mature enough to handle meeting a parent’s date. Just be careful about how your conduct your dates. If you’re dating a different person every week, maybe it’s not such a good idea to constantly parade in a series of ever-changing faces in front of a child of any age. It can be over-whelming. Younger children are even more impressionable and should be shielded fairly heavily. When you do go out, just let your children know you’re going out with a friend. If you decide to commit to someone special and it’s been a few months of dating in a healthy stable relationship, that would be the time to start slowly bringing your date around your children.

Once you have introduced the kids and the date, proceed with caution. Don’t do too much too soon. Give your child time to get used to a new person in your life, and give your date time to get used to them. It’s not always a perfectly smooth transition and can lead to feelings of jealousy on either side. Just be patient and loving, and ensure either party – child or date – that you care about them and they are important regardless of how many special people you have in your life.

Cash Solutions for Single Parents

04/30/2011 Donna Comments 0 Comment

Financial expert Dave Ramsey offers some advice for single parents who are trying to build a financially stable home when there’s no one else to lean on.

There’s a sense of hopelessness in the letters financial expert Dave Ramsey has received from single moms.

Combine the financial stress with the pressures of being a single parent and it’s no wonder single moms are looking for help. Ramsey offers advice on The Early Show.

He says the most common financial mistake that he sees single moms commit is that after a divorce many women hold on to their homes, hoping to maintain a sense of normality for kids whose family has just been torn apart.

Unfortunately, Ramsey says, these women can’t honestly afford the mortgage. They pay it, but they wind up spending too much money each month on housing. Financially, many single moms would be better off moving into a smaller home with a smaller mortgage payment.

Here are the questions he received and his advice:

I am a single parent of one daughter who is 14. I am at my wits end on what to do to get out of debt. I was divorced two years ago and was left with a lot of credit card debt, and not a very high paying job. I do have a better job now, but I feel I cannot pay off the credit cards or make ends meet. I have a monthly income of $2,200 and more bills than I can list at this time. I would appreciate any advice you could give me as to where to start.

Sharon

Ramsey says Sharon needs to start with a budget. She needs to write down everything that she needs to spend money on each month, from groceries to credit card bills. She then needs to write down how much she has available to spend each month. Sharon should plan to take care of all basic necessities first. She needs to budget for food, the utility bill, etc. After setting aside that money, she will clearly be able to see that she can’t afford to pay all her bills/debts.

So how does seeing that she can’t pay all of her obligations make her feel better? She should receive a sense of accomplishment knowing that she is providing all basic necessities for her family, Ramsey says. Also, although she won’t be paying all of her bills, she will be doing so consciously, she will be choosing what to pay and not pay. In this sense, she is taking control of her debt. Additionally, having everything written down on paper will help Sharon see where she can cut her spending and spark ideas for using her money more wisely. In this way, she will slowly be able to begin putting more towards bills, etc., each month.

Michelle in Wisconsin writes:

I am a single mom trying to make ends meet. I make just over $23,000 a year, but pay $400 a month in daycare. I have $20,000 in student loans and about $3,000 in other debt. I can barely make my monthly utilities. How do I get somewhere on my other bills?

Ramsey says Michelle needs a support system. The daycare issue is a financial hardship and also can be a scheduling and emotional nightmare. Michelle needs a neighbor or an older friend at church to “adopt” her and help take care of her kids from time to time. If Michelle doesn’t live near family, maybe it’s time for her to consider moving.

Ramsey has two specific financial suggestions for Michelle. First, he believes she — and all other single moms — needs to find an “accountability partner.” One of the hard things about being a single parent is that you feel isolated, like you have to make all big financial decisions by yourself. Single parents need to find someone they trust — a sister, a friend a pastor — to discuss the family finances and to assist in decisions like buying a car or replacing a dishwasher.

“This partner has to be someone who truly loves you,” Ramsey says, “because he or she also has to be able to ‘bust you’ when you make a stupid financial decision. The accountability partner has to be willing to say things like, ‘Don’t you dare take a shopping spree and put three pairs of shoes on your credit card this month.’ “

Ramsey also says that Michelle needs to look for ways to increase her income. A temporary solution is the dreaded part-time job. But Michelle needs to look for a long-term solution, too. He believes she should take advantage of any free time by reading or taking a class because “you get paid for what you know, not what you do.”

Michelle needs to formulate a plan for making more money. If she works in a salon, she needs to really learn the business so that one day she can own the salon, for example. She needs to continue to learn and grow so she’s prepared to move up the career ladder, he says.

Source

10 Ways Single Parents Can Save Money

04/29/2011 Donna Comments 0 Comment

According to the US Census Bureau, there are over 14 million single parents in the United States, and those single parents are responsible for raising more than 22 million children. More than 80% of single parents are mothers, and more than 30% percent of all single parents receive public assistance.

Single parents often struggle with buying basic necessities and paying bills, and usually live paycheck to paycheck. Single parents often do not have any savings and are in debt. Here are some ways that single parents can save money so they can make ends meet.

10 ways for single parents to save money:

1. Buy a Used Car:

Buy or trade in your current car for a used car with a cheaper note. This will either eliminate your car note or save you $50 to $200 a month on your car payment.

2. Use Coupons:

Buy whatever items are on sale or buy items with coupons. This can save you $50 to $300 a month. There have been instances where shoppers had a total bill of $200 and ended up paying $5 using coupons and buying items on sale.

3. Buy Generic:

Buy everything generic: household items, clothing, prescriptions, toiletries, dry goods, canned goods, paper products, etc. This will save you on average $5 to $50 a month.

4. Buy Washable Clothes:

Buy clothes that do not require dry cleaning. This will save you on average $50 to $150 a month.

5. Do you own hair and nails

and buy your makeup from a drugstore, such as CVS or Rite Aid. This will save you on average $40 to $100 a month.

6. Gas:

Buy regular gas for your car unless the owner’s manual suggests otherwise. Find the cheapest gas in your neighborhood to purchase. This will save you on average $.05 to $.20 per gallon.

7. Shop at Discount Stores:

Buy household items in bulk, such as paper products, cleaning supplies at discount stores such as Target, Wal-Mart, Costco, etc. This will save you on average $5 to $50 a month.

8. Reduce Expenses:

Reduce or cancel your cable plan, cell phone or Internet service, or get the cheapest plan available. This can save you $20 to $100 a month.

9. Buy Groceries at Superstores:

Buy your groceries at superstores or wholesale stores such as Wal-Mart, Costco, Sam’s Club, etc. Buy nuts, grains, spices, legumes at wholesale or health food stores. This will save you $30 to $200 a month on processing costs charged at regular grocery stores.

10. Fun with Kids:

Check your local library or newspaper to find free activities that you can do to with your kids. This can save anywhere from $5-$100 a month.

How to Travel to Jamaica as a Single Parent with Children

04/29/2011 Donna Comments 0 Comment

Step 1

Plan your travel itinerary and book your flight and hotel reservations. Include visits to some of Jamaica’s child-friendly attractions, such as the Aquasol water park in Montego Bay or the 1,000-acre working Prospect Plantation, outside of Port Antonio. Include time on the island’s beaches as well, avoiding the nudist area of Negril’s Seven Mile Beach.

Step 2

Get passports in advance of your trip. Plan to visit the passport facility with your children’s other parent, bring the other parent’s notarized Statement of Consent to the facility or provide documentation noting you are the sole custodian of the children, as both of a child’s parents must consent to having a passport issued for the child, notes the U.S. Department of State.

Step 3

Visit your doctor to ensure you and your children are up to date on your vaccinations and have enough of your prescription medications to last the duration of your trip. Have your doctor write a note explaining that you, or your children, have been prescribed any medications that you plan on carrying into Jamaica with you to avoid having it confiscated, suggests the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Source

Single Parent Support Groups

04/29/2011 Donna Comments 0 Comment

Being a single parent can be a strain on you financially as well as emotionally. The demands of being a single parent means that most single moms and dads limit or completely cut out any socializing. But not investing in friendships or relationships can be a bad idea, and can cause you to become isolated and depressed. Finding and getting involved in a single parent support group can really be worth the time and effort because the group can help you cope with single parenting issues. There are a variety of things that a single parent support group can offer you such as:

Activities – Many support groups have different types of activities that single parents can participate in. Group activities are a good way to meet others like yourself who have similar single parent issues and provide support. Enjoying a group activity can also help keep depression at bay and give you something fun to look forward to on a regular basis.

Conversation – Having an opportunity to talk with people who are in similar situations can be a relief. So often single parents feel they are being judged by others who don’t understand what being a single parent entails. You also have an opportunity to listen to and get advice from other single parents who have overcome some of the issues that you may be dealing with currently, and that can be very encouraging.

Learning – Many single parent support groups invite speakers to educate the group on various relevant topics, or provide useful information in other ways. Some of the useful topics covered might be learning how to talk to teens about touchy subjects such as sex, drugs, and alcohol. Or learning how to create a budget that works for the single parent; how to make their income go farther, or how to find ways to supplement their income. Being a single parent can be frustrating and confusing if you try to go it alone, and that’s where single parent support groups can help.

Find new interests – As a single parent you want to show your kids that you’re ‘okay’, and that means keeping some of your life for yourself; and living it! Getting involved in a single parent support group can be a great way to grow and enjoy life as you meet new people and develop interests. The truth is, the kids will appreciate and respect you more if you have some boundaries when it comes to carving out much needed ‘adult time’.

Support network opportunities – The people you will meet in single parent support groups will be more likely to want to be a part of your support network because they’re looking for support also. From something as simple as knowing people who can form a babysitting co-op with you to knowing people who can help you out with various things you’ll need in life.

Make new friends – If nothing else, a single parent support group will give you an opportunity to be around people like you who are going through similar issues. The potential for making new friends will be great. And who knows; maybe when you’re ready for a deeper relationship, it just might be the place you find it.

If doesn’t matter how you became a single parent, we all know that is can be challenging. Joining single parent support groups can really help give you that extra support that you and your family need. If your not sure where to find a single parent support group in your area, check out your local church websites or do a local search on your favorite search engine.