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Single Parent Picking Battles and Roles

Single Parent Picking Battles and Roles

I found this post at a blog called Spilled Milk.

Being a Single Parent Means Picking Your Battles…And Your Roles

One of the hardest parts of becoming a single mother, for me, is the desire to be everything for my child. I desperately want him to have the childhood I had… the baking cookies, the team sports, the music lessons. I don’t want him to have moments when he thinks “Man, I could do that if I only had my dad in town.” I want him to grow up happy and well-adjusted and to me, that seems to mean working over time to ensure that he misses out on positively ZERO experiences…

You can read the entire post at Spilled Milk.

Financial Planning for the Single Parent

Financial Planning for the Single Parent

As a single parent it’s even more important than ever to have a short term and long term financial plan.  At About.com they have an article that covers some of the financial planning that you need to think about for you and your child.  The article covers:

  • Creating a Budget
  • Getting Child Support
  • Finding Additional Help
  • Setting up an Emergency Fund
  • Life Insurance
  • Education Funding

While the article doesn’t go into a great amount of detail, if you are just starting to think about financial planning it’s a good place to start.  Many single parents don’t even think about financial planning until they are hit with a crisis; and that’s the worst time to start.

You can read the entire article by clicking on Finances for a Single Parent

Single Parents Have Questions

Single Parents Have Questions

As I search the internet for things to help single parents with their desire to be the best parents they can be, I come across many questions posted by single parents.

As I come across questions that single parents are asking, I will post them in a new category called Single Parent Questions.  My hope is that you will be able to find answers to some of your single parent questions.  If not, leave a question in the comments and we’ll try to find some answers for you.

Just as a NoteThe answers to many of the questions do not necessarily reflect my own oppinion on the suject matter.

How to Raise a Teenage Boy as a Single Parent

How to Raise a Teenage Boy as a Single Parent

It is very hard being a single parent to a teenage boy. Not only do you have to be kind, caring and nurturing, but also tough, hard and be able to stay in control.

Instructions

  • First and foremost, the most important thing that you can do as your little boy grows up, is to grow with him. Flexibility is the key tool! As your cute little angel turns into a testosterone filled adolescent – you too, will have a great deal of changing to do.
    In the early days, you are the boss; however, little by little, you need to give more and more responsibility. Your ultimate goal here is to become his friend; his confidante.
  • Boundaries are a big issue. All teenage boys will push these to the very limit. However, many young men that I have spoken to, have all agreed, that when looking back on their teenage years, boundaries set by their parent/s indicated that they were loved and cared for.
  • Always be attentive and sensitive to your son’s feelings. Boys find opening up extremely difficult. You will probably have to find new ways of talking to your son now. Be patient and do not nag. In addition, always tell your son that you are proud of him and that you love him, no matter how old. Furthermore, support your son in his choices and praise him when he begins to make these; remember, this is a big step in growing up.
  • As a single parent, it is very important to encourage your teenage son to have good relationships with other people. A grandparent, Uncle, Aunt or a neighbour. This gives your son somebody else to talk to and also provides other role models.
  • So often we feel that we have actually no impact whatsoever on our teen. However, we must remember that all the good values and morals that you have shown as he has been growing up, will not have gone to waste. Many parents find that some, if not all of these attitudes are emulated by their sons. There is no greater satisfaction than this.
  • Never allow things to get so far as a shouting match, or worse, violence. Remember, he will be probably taller and much bigger than you. If he strikes out too in a temper, he will regret this for years to come. if you feel the situation getting out of hand…..walk away! Explain that you will discuss the matter at another time, when you are both much calmer. I found that when I tried to talk to my son, I would end up sitting him down, turning the TV off and looking him in the eyes. Every time I did this, no matter what the subject, he would blow up like a fuse and an argument would commence. Since, I have found that he found this tactic too confrontational. Therefore, when I need to discuss matters with him now, I usually begin the conversation when we are in the car or washing up, etc. I seem to receive a better outcome.
  • It is paramount that you do not talk to your teen. However, it is important that you share conversations and actually listen to what he is telling you. Moreover, understanding that your son does have his own viewpoint and learning to accept and respect this, will add mutual respect to your relationship. Managing a teenage boy is “mission impossible”, although, living with one can be fun!
  • Finally, as previously stated, but I cannot reiterate this enough – set firm and clear boundaries…..yes teenage boys do need structure.

If a strategy does not work – change it!

Lighten up – take time out together. Ensure that you do something together, either every week or every month, such as going to the cinema, eating out, bowling or even a walk together. I find all sorts out from my son on these occasions. When I have asked, “why did you not tell me that before”, he would retort, “I dunno”.

Remember, life can be hard, what with work and commitments, we sometimes forget what it is like to have fun. So go ahead, grab your son and go have some fun!

Tips for Single Parents to get Cheaper Car Insurance Rates for Teens

Tips for Single Parents to get Cheaper Car Insurance Rates for Teens

Tips from the Teen Car Insurance Guide

It’s scary enough when your teenager begins to drive – and as a single parent, it can be a bit tricky to determine where the responsibility lies when it comes to insuring them. Whether your child is living with your former spouse or is away at school, you should talk to your insurance company to determine whose policy your teen should go on.

Here are a few questions to be prepared for when talking with your agent:

  1. Who has custody? – If you’re a single parent, some insurance companies mandate that whoever has custody while the teen is attending school is responsible for the policy. Others suggest that the parent who has the teen a majority of the time should cover them under their policy. Depending on which company your insurance is through, your teen may also need to be named on both parents’ policies.
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  3. Do you and your ex-spouse have the same insurance company? – If you’re a single parent and you and your ex both have auto insurance through the same company, your child may be automatically covered under both policies. This is because some insurance policies define “the insured” as someone related to you by blood, marriage, or adoption who is a resident of your household.
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  5. Who has the best driving history? – As a single parent this can also be a deciding factor in whose policy your child should be covered under. If you or your former spouse have a poor driving record, this could increase the cost of your premium significantly. In this case, it may be best to have the other parent add your teen driver to their policy.
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  7. When does your teen’s coverage need to begin? – Make sure you notify the insurance company at least a few weeks before your teen gets his or her license. Even if you’re still deciding which policy they should be covered under, it’s important to have them covered in the interim – not doing so could cost you quite a bit of money if they’re involved in an accident. Not listing them also gives your insurance company the right to cancel your policy for misrepresentation. Make sure their coverage starts a few days before they’re ready to drive.

After you’ve determined whose policy your teen driver should be covered on, plan a time to talk with your former spouse about coverage options, safety issues, and related costs. Although this may be an uncomfortable conversation, there are many important things you should discuss:

  1. Decide between individual vs. existing policy – Most times, adding a child to your existing policy is best, rather than getting them their own. However, if you or your former spouse has a history of accidents or an overall poor driving record, it might be best to get them an individual policy.
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  3. Check back every six months – When your policy comes up for renewal (usually every six months), take a look at other companies to see if you can get a better rate. At this point, your current company may also give you a loyalty discount if you stay with them.
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  5. Switch the insured person – Some companies let you assign drivers to a specific car. To save money, list your teen as the driver of one of your older cars.
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  7. Increase your deductibles – Single parents might think this tip is a bit scary, but it does save you money. When you add a teenage driver to your policy, consider increasing your deductible. This can significantly lower your premium, so you can use your insurance in the unfortunate event of an accident, rather than on small things that you can pay out of pocket.
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  9. Take your college student off the policy – If your teen driver is away at school without a car, consider taking them off your policy. As a single parent you don’t want to be paying for something that is not needed. Make sure, though, that they won’t drive during a break from school – if they are uncovered and in an accident, you could risk losing a lot of money.
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  11. Don’t buy a new car – For most single parents (for most parents in general) this is not an option for you anyway, but if it is you need to know this: Brand-new cars are much more expensive to insure than older models. If you intend to buy a car for your teen to drive, resist the urge to get something brand-new. Instead, purchase a reliable older car and save a significant amount of money when it comes to insurance.
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  13. Don’t report fender benders – Although insurance companies aren’t a fan of this idea, consider paying for fender benders out of pocket, without reporting it. Even a single accident can raise your premiums, so it may be more cost-effective to you to not report it and instead, pay out-of-pocket.
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  15. Choose a safe car – As a single parent, when choosing a car for your teen to drive, consider something safe – this will not only do the obvious, but will also save you money on car insurance. Sporty cars always cost more to insure, as do larger trucks and SUVs; and single parents don’t need the added expense.
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  17. Safety features are good – Along with choosing a conservative car, look at the safety features as well. Cars with airbags, anti-lock brakes, and automatic seat belts can help make a difference in your insurance premium.
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  19. Car registration – Keep the car registered under the single parent’s name that the insurance is under, instead of the teen. This is a commonly missed factor that can affect insurance rates.
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  21. Drop collision or comprehensive coverage on old cars – If your teen plans to drive an older car, consider dropping the collision and comprehensive insurance. The reason is this: Paying a month premium to maintain these may be much more expensive than paying out-of-pocket in the rare event of an accident.

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