Tag Archives: single dad

When is it OK to Leave my Children Home Alone?

As a single parent you may be asking yourself, ‘when can I start leaving my children home alone?’ This may be out of necessity or because your children seem mature enough and don’t want to go with you everywhere you go.

Before you make the decision to leave you children home alone there are many things to consider. The following is a link to an article that covers everything that you need to think about and address before you decide to leave you children at home without you.

Children Home Alone – Decide When to Leave Them Home

5 Common Questions Single Parents Ask

1. How Do I Adjust to Being a Single Parent?

Being a single parent isn’t easy, especially in the beginning. But instead of giving in and feeling sorry for yourself, take steps to start the adjustment process right away. Get involved in a single parent support group. There you can find support and fun. Reach out to other single parents in your community. Invite them and their kids over for a play date or a picnic in the park. Be kind and take care of yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the better you’ll feel as a single parent.

2. Will I Ever Heal? How Can I Start the Healing Process?

Whether your spouse died or you’ve just gone through a divorce, you will need to go through the grieving process. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance are all a part of that process. For some the process is quicker than others. To help yourself through the grieving process, get involved in a support group. Let yourself cry when you feel like crying. Exercise; pursue a hobby; get yourself around other adults, and accept help from others. Help others. This actually has an amazing healing affect. Finally, seek out the help of a professional counselor/therapist if after 6 months you’re still not moving through the grieving process.

3. How am I Going to Live on My New Budget?

Newly single parents usually have to adjust to a new, smaller budget. This is something that you need to pay attention to right away. You cannot live the way you did when there were two incomes. Create a brutally honest budget for your single parent family and stick to it. Maxing out your credit cards and possibly ruining your credit will only make matters WAY worse for a long time. Look for ways to increase your income. Try to eliminate or restructure any debt that you currently have. Live within your means by cutting out all but necessary expenses. As you adjust to single parent living you can then start adding additional expenses to your budget as your income allows.

Where Can I Find a Single Parent Support Group?

You should be able to find more than on single parent support group in your community. You may even be able to find single parent support groups that cater to specific sub-groups such as single moms, single dads, etc. Many religious organizations off single parent support groups, so look there. Ask for referral from doctors, or other single parents in the community. Google single parent support groups in your area.

5. How do I Start Dating Again?

Whether you want to date just for the adult companionship or you’re looking for something more serious, here are a few ideas on how to meet new potential dates. For sure there are many dating apps out there. If you decide to use a dating app, use caution. People can be very deceptive on dating apps. Instead, join a gym or take a night class at your local community college. You can spend time at bookstores, museums, or any other place where single frequent. A great place to meet new people (potential dates included) is your local church. Offer to volunteer which gives you a built in excuse to talk to everyone.

Dating can boost your ego as a newly single parent but be very cautious. Take it slow, and don’t put yourself out there until you’ve had time to heal from your previous relationship.

The Divorce is Over – Now What? New Single Parent Reality

For some, going through a divorce can feel like all your hopes and dreams were just crushed under a huge pile of bricks; while for others it can feel like a pile of bricks was lifted from your back. Either way, moving on as a single parent is a new and sometimes challenging experience. Let’s look at some of the things that might crop up as you start your single parent life.

Feeling Lonely

One of the more challenging aspects of being a single parent is the feeling of being alone. Sometimes being alone can be a positive thing but if you are missing that special connection with another adult then you are not alone. Rather than putting yourself out there in the “market” right away take some time for you. Companionship can be found in many healthy activities such as craft groups, support groups, a bowling team, or anywhere you can make new friends and not feel so alone.

Healing Time

Give yourself some time to heal before dating again. For some, healing can involve learning to love yourselves again, and for others it could be learning to be on your own as a single parent. As much as you may feel like you can never do this alone don’t jump into another relationship until you have proven to yourself that you can. For some this can prove to be a struggle but it is possible.  The only true way to have a healthy relationship with anyone is to be a whole (healed) person before you begin a relationship.

Find Support

Build a support group of friends and family. Choose only those who help you to feel good about yourself. Disconnect from those who put you down or doubt your abilities. You don’t need these people.  And yes, you can tell them.  Simply say that if they don’t have something positive to contribute then you can’t be around them right now. They will either change their ways or move on.  If you find yourself without positive support or just would like more then you can always turn to local church groups in your community. Many larger churches have single parent support groups.

Children Need Healing and Support as Well

Your children need time to adjust to their new normal.  Healing and support is crucial for them as well.  No matter how adjusted you thing you are, think about where your kids are in their adjustment journey before you think about starting a new relationship.  And when they are ready, and you’re thinking about dating, ask yourself:  Will this person be a good influence? How soon should I introduce a new person into my child’s life? How will my child react? These are all valid questions and there is no one correct answer. The best thing to do is to consider these questions and more before you even consider dating.

You Will Adapt and Thrive as a Single Parent if you Allow Yourself

Adjusting to being a single parent is sometimes quite hard. Don’t give up on yourself though. You will adjust, heal, and become a better person/parent for your children.