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Month: March 2013

Study Sheds Light on Single Parent Stress

Study Sheds Light on Single Parent Stress

Self-esteem plays a key part in a single mother’s happiness, but makes little difference to the life satisfaction of single fathers, new research shows.

Research by an academic at Western Australia’s Edith Cowan University, Bronwyn Harman, into the life satisfaction of different family formations, showed that single parents believed they were still viewed negatively by society, even though they accounted for 17 per cent of families in Australia.

Dr Harman interviewed scores of single parents, and then rated their life satisfaction based on their resilience, self-esteem and social support. She found that while all three factors contributed to the happiness of single mothers, self-esteem ”had no impact” on the life satisfaction of single fathers.

”Single mothers can have lots of social support, but unless they have that internal self-belief, they don’t believe what they’re being told,” Dr Harman said.

”With dads, they just believe what they’re told – ‘you’re doing a good job’.” Dr Harman found little difference in the ”relatively low level” of life satisfaction among both single fathers and single mothers. ”When you combine the negative stereotypes with the day-to-day struggle of being a single parent, it would generally not be a very happy place to be,” she said.

All single parents said they were stigmatized by society. ”Single mothers said partnered mothers were threatened by them, viewing them as potential husband stealers,” Dr Harman said.

”Single fathers said society viewed them as a ‘failure’, ‘with suspicion’, and ‘rejected’. There is an incorrect but pervasive view that only mothers know how to parent.”

Single dads told of spending tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees for access to their child, being regularly excluded from special occasions involving their child, and being cut out of the communication loop by their child’s school.

Single mothers reported finding daily life a struggle, with no one to share the burden of illness and tiredness, or their parenting successes.

Dr Harman said a lack of social support for single parents contributed to their low levels of life satisfaction.

”Being a parent with a partner is hard enough,” she said. ”You can’t imagine what it would be like juggling and struggling all by yourself with no one to fall back on.” Justine Proctor became a single mother five years ago when her husband – from whom she was separated – died.

”There are not a lot of good things about being a single parent,” she said.

Now her son, Luke Harford, is on the cusp of adolescence, Ms Proctor feels keenly the lack of a partner. ”My son is just at the age where he does need a father figure around, a good male role model,” she said.

Ms Proctor said her ”saving grace” was the Single with Children support group.

She said the best thing about her family set-up was her bond with Luke. ”I’m hoping the bond is going to last through the teenage years,” she said.

RHONY’s Kelly Bensimon: Single Parenting is Not Easy

RHONY’s Kelly Bensimon: Single Parenting is Not Easy

kellybensimon
Real Housewives of New York City‘s Kelly Bensimon is a single mother, and according to Kelly, it’s not easy.  Here’s what she had to say about single parenting:

“I am a single parent and it’s not easy. For anyone who is a single parent, it is nothing to be flippant about. It is really, really difficult. I have to work as well, and it’s something that I’ve always done. I’ve always worked and I’ve always been a single parent. This is my life and it’s how I am trying to raise my kids. I want them to have really great values. I don’t want to be that parent that’s like, “I work so much that I kind of spoil them.” I am trying to give my kids those Midwestern values that I find very important.”

The Real Housewives of New York alum recently hosted the launch of Original Scent, the new luxury scent bar in Pasadena. The reality TV star, 44, raves about the new “boutique where you can make your own personal fragrance.”

Kelly opens up to Celebrity Baby Scoop about her daughters – Sea, 14, and Thadeus, 12 – who are her “greatest luxury.” She goes on to talk about the difficulties of single motherhood and her greatest regret from appearing on RHONY, saying the show did not accurately portray her life.

You can read the entire article at Celebrity Baby Scoop.

POSP – Better Opportunities for Single Parents

POSP – Better Opportunities for Single Parents

This from the Fort Bliss Monitor

Single parents attend the Better Opportunities for Single Parents monthly meeting March 12 at the Combat Aviation Brigade Dining Facility. Photo by Sgt. Ida Irby, 24th Press Camp Headquarters.
Single parents attend the Better Opportunities for Single Parents monthly meeting March 12 at the Combat Aviation Brigade Dining Facility. Photo by Sgt. Ida Irby, 24th Press Camp Headquarters.

Sgt. Ida Irby, 24th Press Camp Headquarters:

Better Opportunities for Single Parents is a fresh organization created to give a voice to single parents in the Army. The Fort Bliss BOSP group hopes to also reach out to DoD civilians, National Guard, reservists, retirees, and veterans of all branches who are in a single-parent situation due to temporary duty, overseas deployment or separate duty stations.

Since November 2011, the BOSP program is growing daily as a result of up-to-date commander’s briefings, newcomers briefings and family readiness group trainings.

“Bring your voice, your issues and your concerns,” said Sgt. Richard Carreon, vice president of the BOSP. “‘Total Army Family’ sums up what it takes for single parents to be successful. Without the chain of command, chain of concern, FRG, family care plans and the arsenal of Army programs; it would be virtually impossible to raise a child as a single or dual military parent.”

Why It’s Better to Be a Single Parent

Why It’s Better to Be a Single Parent

This article comes to us from Dishon & Block

Being a single parent is not an ideal situation. No matter how you spin it, almost everyone agrees that having two parents is better than one. However, being a single parent post-divorce or separation gets a worse rep than it deserves, and there are advantages to raising children alone.

Rather than trying to work with your ex to make parenting compromises, you’ll get to make your own decisions. Kerri Zane, single mother advisor, offers five reasons that being a single parent actually can be better:

1- No negotiations necessary. Parents trying to co-parent will continue to fight and deal with disagreeing views on how to raise their children. All the fighting and disagreeing can make both environments unhealthy for your child. As a single parent you can be the security blanket and the healthy, loving parent that your child needs.

You can read the entire article here.

Single Parent Picking Battles and Roles

Single Parent Picking Battles and Roles

I found this post at a blog called Spilled Milk.

Being a Single Parent Means Picking Your Battles…And Your Roles

One of the hardest parts of becoming a single mother, for me, is the desire to be everything for my child. I desperately want him to have the childhood I had… the baking cookies, the team sports, the music lessons. I don’t want him to have moments when he thinks “Man, I could do that if I only had my dad in town.” I want him to grow up happy and well-adjusted and to me, that seems to mean working over time to ensure that he misses out on positively ZERO experiences…

You can read the entire post at Spilled Milk.

Single Parent Vacations with the Kids

Single Parent Vacations with the Kids

National Single Parents Day is March 21. There’s not doubt that single parents have earned their day, so why not enjoy a break or mini getaway with the family. Window Seat or Aisle Seat blogger, family travel expert and single mom Kerri Zane shares destination hot spots for single parents.

Since 1984, we’ve been celebrating National Single Parents Day on March 21. Unlike Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, it is time set aside to honor those parents who individually strive to create a supportive, loving and secure environment for their children. It can also be a time to celebrate with a one-of-a-kind getaway. As a single mom adviser and author of It Takes All 5: A Single Mom’s Guide to Finding the REAL One, I’ve found special destinations that specifically cater to single parent families.

Dominican Delight

Kids jump in poolThe Grand Palladium Resort & Spa, part of the Palladium Hotel Group, in the Dominican Republic has created a super easy way to make family travel a no-brainer.

“As a mother of two, I have always been mindful of how Palladium can better accommodate to the traveling family. I want to ensure that our resorts provide those necessities to ensure that families have a relaxing and enjoyable Palladium experience.,” said Linda Scaperotto of Palladium Hotel Group.

When you make your reservation simply ask for one of their all new “family friendly rooms” (available only at Bavaro, subject to a per person supplement). After, you can send in your children’s needs and upon arrival the room will be outfitted with age-appropriate welcome packs. Everything from formula type to diaper size and video games can be included in the packs. When my daughters were little, I remember packing an entire suitcase with diapers, this would have been a great service to have available then.

The resort offers a tiered kids club to accommodate children of all ages. For children ages 1-3 there is a Baby Club. Housed in the new Kid’s Club, the Mini Club which caters to children ages 4-12, offers age-specific games, a larger swimming pool, zip line and a series of cooking classes that teach kids about local ingredients of the region. Teens join the Black & White Junior’s Club, where they’ll be treated to a wide variety of sports and entertainment programs. Meanwhile, single parents are able to relax in any of the resort’s four pools or at the first-class Spa & Wellness Center, play at the resort’s casino or venture to any one of the 14 bars spread throughout the resort.

In honor of National Single Parents Day the Grand Palladium Resort and Spa has joined with me in offering a FREE 4-night getaway! For more information and to enter the contest visit kerrizane.com.

Down on the Farm

Horseback riding kids At Buck Valley Ranch, you and your children can get in touch with your inner cowboy or cowgirl. Nestled in the Appalachian Mountains of Pennsylvania’s Fulton County, horseback riding is the main attraction.  You’ll stay in a four bedroom guest house filled with cowboy memorabilia and antiques. Healthy and hearty meals are served daily with attention to dietary needs. You can either relax in the hot tub or cool off in the swimming pool. Nearby you can enjoy biking on the C&O canal, canoeing and kayaking in the Potomac River, and golfing. Walk out the front door and you’ll have access to 2,000 acres of hiking. A 3-day, all-inclusive package (meals, riding, lodging) costs $300.