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Month: June 2012

Keep Your Kids Safe from Preditors

Keep Your Kids Safe from Preditors

The Sad Truth

Horrific stories about children being molested are common in the new today.  With the trial of Jerry Sandusky, the alleged abuse of Bishop Eddie Long of Atlanta, and the painful memories of priests abusing young boys in the Catholic Church, single parents need to be more proactive when it comes to protecting our children. It’s unfortunate that as single parents our job is made that much harder because we once looked to ‘respected’ men in the community to mentor our children, particularly boys.

Not Stranger Danger

Most children get the ‘stranger danger’ talk early and often; at home and at school.  But when the potential danger is someone who is familiar and around our children everyday, things get confusing.  Teachers, coaches, pastors, and even family members are people our children should be able to trust, but that’s not always the case.

Single moms should not give anyone too much access to their children even if they are in positions of authority. In The Myth of the Broken Home-Guidebook for Single Parents “Strangers” are obvious, but “Strange Nots” are very familiar to children. They include people who are around our children everyday including family members, teachers, preachers, friends. These are people our children should be able to trust, but as we know, it’s not always the case. Children should be taught to apply some of the same protective techniques with familiar adults as with strangers.



What Can You Do?

Child molesters have very specific predatory skills much like many offenders. Here are some tips to help you lessen the chances of your child from being a victim.

  1. Monitor your child’s interaction with strangers and use every interaction as a teaching moment. Your child needs to know what to do in situations with strangers first. Once they know how to react to ‘Stranger Danger’ you will be able to start teaching them about ‘Not-So Stranger Danger’.
  2. If you are actively dating; never invite the men you meet into your home. This is not just for your children’s safety, but your own as well. Be very causious about jumping into a relationship too fast. If you develop a friendship with a male, spend time with him outside your home. Meet at a restaurant or a local coffee shop.
  3. Know the whereabouts of your children at all times. Know where they are, what they are doing, and who they are with. This is very important. Your children should also know that they need to contact you if there is any change in plans; before the change happens.
  4. Openly communicate with your child about their body and what is private. Let them know that their body is their own; and if someone is making them uncomfortable by touching them they should say so. Even if it’s just a hug. Children need to know that they have the right to say no to someone touching them. They also need to be comfortable enough to tell you, their parent, if it happens.

 

Single parents, are often exhausted and sometimes burdened, but we still must do our best to protect our children as best we can.

Ready to Start Dating Again?

Ready to Start Dating Again?

As a single parent, you probably have very little free time, so dating must seem like an impossible task. Yet, single parents are dating in unprecedented numbers. So, if you are looking for adult companionship, you are very likely to find it. But just like everything in life; rules can protect us from potential harm.

Smart Single Parent Dating Rules

  • As a responsible parent, you will want to be very cautious about whom you date, and eventually bring home, for the safety and well-being of your children. You may feel guilty or unsure about whether dating is okay. But, of course it is .. as long as you do it responsibly, and your children are not disrupted by your dating life.
  • Single parent dating involves finding a quality person you like, who likes you and who is comfortable with your children. These extra dynamics can be frustrating, but should not be ignored or overlooked. Pressuring your children to like your date, and going too fast for them to get comfortable with the situation, will create unnecessary trouble.
  • Because today’s society is very mobile, it is easy for people who are not savory to hide their backgrounds. Getting to know people as friends before dating increases the safety of dating and meeting new people. To maximize safety, choose group activities, daytime activities with the children, and stay in public places until you establish your date’s character.
  • Meeting other single parents at a PTA meeting, church, school or sporting events are all great ways to begin. The public setting provides safety, a chance to get to know the other person and a chance to find out what others think of your date.

 

      • Meeting his or her children, or other family members, will quickly reveal their values and attitudes. When your children meet another parent, an adult friend, or a church or temple member rather than a date, it is much less threatening to them.
      • Children are not the only ones who need rules to follow. If the adults involved do the right thing automatically, they are following their own internal rules. But, if their behavior is not suitable for you and your children, then you need to inform them of your rules.

Setting and keeping rules may sound like a drag, but sensible and reasonable guidelines are helpful. When everyone knows what is expected of them, they will feel respected and secure.

Connie Britton on being a Single Parent

Connie Britton on being a Single Parent

Connie Britton

Single Parent Love Life

Connie Britton loves being a mother, but she does admit that being a single parent can be particularly challenging when it comes to her love life.

The Emmy-nominated Friday Night Lights actress (who next stars in the primetime drama Nashville) confesses that she’s ready for love, but there’s no time to pursue romance.

“I have no sex life right now,” Britton, 45, revealed during Lifetime’s The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet on Thursday. “I keep thinking about how I could do it, how I could pull it off.”

In November 2011, Britton adopted an Ethiopian baby boy, Yoby, after waiting three years for a referral. Now that she’s adjusted to life as a mother, Britton jokes that she’s ready to get it on. “I’m just talking about how I get laid while I have a baby,” Britton laughed.

Britton is only half-joking because she said she’s “in great shape to meet a man” but doesn’t “have time” to juggle dating and working with taking care of little Yoby. “When I go home, I have my little guy.”

Starting a Family as a Single Parent

The decision to start a family without a partner was difficult, but ultimately worth it, Britton explains.

“There was a lot of grief about having not started this journey with the man who was going to be my partner. I anticipate finishing it with a man who’s going to be my partner,” Britton said. “I definitely had to grieve that, but I also didn’t want to wait anymore. I absolutely know that this was something that I want for my life, and I’m really fortunate… and I feel like I can do it.”