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Month: August 2011

Single Parent Struggles

Single Parent Struggles

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Interesting article about single parent struggles.

Single parent struggles…how is that defined exactly? Is the problem worse in San Diego than other cities? The San Diego Union Tribune recently ran a story with Nathan Fletcher who is running for San Diego Mayor. He touched a little bit on kids in San Diego, “…There’s no guarantee that you get an equally easy path. So if both of your parents went to college, it’s easier for you than a kid that has a single mom who struggles financially, who’s in a poor community.” Mr. Fletcher went on to talk about everyone having access to the “American Dream” but do children of single parents truly have that access and what kinds of struggles do single parents have?

 

Single Parents Have Questions

Single Parents Have Questions

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As I search the internet for things to help single parents with their desire to be the best parents they can be, I come across many questions posted by single parents.

As I come across questions that single parents are asking, I will post them in a new category called Single Parent Questions.  My hope is that you will be able to find answers to some of your single parent questions.  If not, leave a question in the comments and we’ll try to find some answers for you.

Just as a Note:  The answers to many of the questions do not necessarily reflect my own oppinion on the suject matter.

Single Parent Fed up with Indulgent Grandma

Single Parent Fed up with Indulgent Grandma

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From  The Boston Globe

Q. I am 26 and a single parent to a 3-year-old girl. I love my daughter more than anything. However, in the past few months, she has become a brat, doing everything she can to test me.

Due to recent financial problems, we had to move in with my mother until I can finish my degree and get a job. No matter what discipline I use, nothing works because my mother undermines me. There is no consistency in what is right or wrong. My mother always gives in to her every request.

Once in a while, I will spank my daughter. My mother, however, cornered me and gave me a lecture on how awful I am for spanking my child. Yet I can clearly recall being spanked by my mother when I was little.

Mom questions my parenting in front of my daughter. I am grateful that she opened her home to us, but I can’t be an effective parent when she constantly undercuts my authority. How can I get her to keep her child-rearing opinions to herself?

TEXAS

A. While we agree with your mother that discipline does not require spanking, we also understand how difficult it is to raise a child when an indulgent grandparent rules the roost. First, have a sit-down discussion with Mom when your daughter is asleep. Get her to acknowledge that a lack of discipline is not healthy for her grandchild. Compromise by agreeing to use different forms of discipline other than spanking. Create rules you can both abide by. If that doesn’t work, bring Mom to your next pediatrician appointment, and ask the doctor to speak to her. And find other living arrangements as soon as possible.

How to be a Single Parent Success

How to be a Single Parent Success

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The reality of single parenting

We hear a lot about single parent households in the news, and how challenging a single parent home can be for children growing up.  As much as single parents don’t want to hear that (especially those who didn’t choose to be a single parent), the challenges should not be ignored.  However, there is research that shows that children of single parents can avoid many challenges, and thrive when they’re provided consistent love and support.

If you search online you can find many resources and organizations, both nationally and locally, that exist to help single parents succeed in raising healthy, well adjusted kids.  And that’s very important, but the critical daily needs of a child, and the managing of daily responsibilities must be shouldered by the single parent.  As we all know, that can be overwhelming at times.

So how do single parents succeed?

Love

Tell your children that you love them.  You’d be surprised how many parents forget to tell their kids that they love them.  Show your kids that you love them.  Show the kids that you love them enough to be a responsible parent.  They will thank you later.

Consistency

Children do best when they have consistent routines and guidelines; and your house runs smoother.  Make sure your child has a consistent schedule and bedtime.  Establish rules and boundaries that are consistently enforced with appropriate consequences for violations.  Don’t forget to praise good behavior.

Communication

Have family meetings once a week to share the up-coming schedule and get feedback from your kids.  You may not think that you need a weekly meeting because you and your child always talk; or your child’s too young, but think again.  As your kids get older, family meeting time may be the only time they can re-connect with the rest of the family.  The longer you wait to start this ritual, the harder it is to maintain in a single parent household.

Attention

Listen to what your kids are saying; especially when they’re not talking.  Know who their friends are; and their friend’s parents.  Know what they’re watching, listening to, and where they’re going online.  Know where your children are at all times.  Again, the older your kids get, the more important this becomes.

We all know that it’s not easy being a single parent, but we can make it easier on our kids and on ourselves if we follow some important rules.